I am not really Rising Up In The Face Of Adversity the last couple of days. This morning I had to be a little stern with myself about it. RISE UP, dammit, or no cookies for you!
The MAIN issue is that the minivan has needed $3000 in repairs in the last few weeks (it's due, it's due, it's hardly needed anything in the over 7 years we've had it, and it was a 5-year-old car to begin with), and then yesterday morning it wouldn't start. Just a rapid clicky noise. And I realize it's not the way things work, that if you pay a lot on a car repair you shouldn't have to pay for a car repair for awhile, but it FEELS like that's the way things work. It's why people get so outraged when something happens right after something else happens. NO FAIR. SOMETHING ALREADY HAPPENED.
But it actually makes plenty of sense that a 12-year-old car having a bunch of problems would have more problems. So I don't know what my deal is.
Part of my deal is that there were things that happened that wouldn't have happened that way if I'd had all the information. So, for example, William was feeling queasy from an antibiotic he's taking for Lyme Disease, so I said I'd drive him to school so he could have another half hour at home to let his stomach settle. I wouldn't have done that if I'd known the car wouldn't start. It makes me a little crazy when there is a largeish consequence for a small and unimportant decision that could have gone either way: he missed school because I said I'd drive him, but he WOULDN'T have missed school if he'd just gotten on the bus. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THIS SITUATION TO HAPPEN. And then Henry had to miss school, too, because our school system only transports kindergarteners one direction, and because coincidentally my parents are on vacation so I can't call them for a lift as I'd usually be able to.
Part of my deal is that there is a simmering pan of stress already on the back burner, what with the Lyme Disease thing, and some "parenting a teenager makes me think this whole having-children thing was a bad idea" things, and some "5-year-old wearing a hole in my skull with his constant dumb-voice-thing talking and saying 'poopy' and so forth" things.
Part of my deal is that car stuff goes with bank stuff and insurance stuff and medical stuff and dental stuff: stuff I DON'T UNDERSTAND so feel like I'm being INCESSANTLY RIPPED OFF even when I'm NOT. How do I know the mechanics didn't do something to the car so that I'd have to keep getting it repaired? I DON'T. There's all this, "Well, find a mechanic you TRUST!" advice. Well, duh. And just as soon as I can read minds, I'll be sure to do that. Human beings are NOTORIOUSLY bad at judging character, and are CONSTANTLY making dumb "Well, I like him, so my gut is telling me he's trustworthy!" decisions and then thinking they've put a check in the "find a trustworthy _____" box. Not me, though! I live in a pool of unending mistrust and suspicion! That's a way better plan!
Where was I? Oh yes. So we jump-started the minivan after Paul got home last night and we ran it for half an hour. Then this morning before he left for work he started it "just to make sure"---and it did not start. Rapid clicky noise. He was late for work because he stayed to jump-start it for me again, thinking maybe we could drop it at the mechanic's---and then it didn't take the jump anyway, just did more click sounds. So Henry will miss another day of kindergarten, and I guess I will have to have the stupid car TOWED? For a surprisingly high price, if I remember correctly from the last time I had to do this.
And my point is that this has me pretty flattened, which makes a person wonder how a person would do if a person had a more significant set of problems to deal with. Because this is our SECOND car. And we can afford to have it towed/repaired. And wah, wah, I don't have my parents as a net the way I usually do, the way MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVER. I assume from evidence around me that what happens is that we DO get flattened by little things and yet DO also manage to handle larger things.
[Edit: So, as with many such things, it didn't even turn out to be that big a deal: the mechanic we use sent a truck to us with a fresh battery, so there was no towing and only a small fee for the service call. SEE? IT PAYS OFF TO FRET AND GET ALL UPSET FOR NOTHING!]
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