Last time it was school-related; this time it was doctor's office-related. But both times, I'll note, it involved EDWARD.
Today he had a check-up. The doctor is a funny guy with a lot of jokes and games to make the exam more fun/comfortable for the kids, and he asked Edward if Edward knew what a "grinder" was. Edward was supposed to say it was a sandwich, and then the doctor would say no, it was THIS!---and "grind" a fist ticklishly on Edward's torso.
But Edward did not say it was a sandwich. Instead, Edward cupped his entire, er, PRIVATE AREA, with BOTH hands, and said earnestly that THAT was a grinder.
The doctor did an admirable job persevering through this to the conclusion of the joke. I was suffused with embarrassment, awkwardness, and also the fear that somehow this exchange would mean that Bad Things happened in our family. Because a child should not be using words like "grind" with That Area, right? I mean, RIGHT? And I don't THINK Edward has any reason to associate those things, but if he DID, where did he pick up on that? And where would the DOCTOR think Edward would have picked up on that? Was he adding a note to the file RIGHT NOW??
The rest of the visit went by in a fog of undefined mortification and agitated, fretful brainial-file-cabinet searching.
On the way home I broached the topic. "Er, Edward," I began. "When the doctor asked you about a grinder, why did you, er? Why did you answer...the way you did?" Edward said because that's what that area is CALLED. I expressed doubt, and Edward persisted. As evidence, he said that his karate teachers kept referring to that area as "the grind."
I was baffled, and also now the fretting had expanded to include his karate class/teachers. And then the brain's office manager found the right file folder at last: "WAIT. Do they call it a GROIN??" Edward: "YES, that's what I SAID."
I suppose there's no way to write a little "Oh by the way, funny story ha ha ha" note to the pediatrician.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...