Creating people who have trouble with a certain kind of temptation, then putting that exact temptation right in front of them FOR NO REASON AT ALL. Then punishing them PERMANENTLY for giving in to the temptation, and not just them but ALL FUTURE GENERATIONS. I wouldn't do that to my kids. Can you imagine? "Hey, Elizabeth, I'm going to put this box of SUPER SECRET AWESOMENESS here on the table right in front of you, but don't touch it! I could have put it somewhere else and never mentioned it, but instead I will put it in the middle of the living room and tell you repeatedly that you can do anything you want EXCEPT play with this box, this wondrous wondrous box. Now I'm going to turn my back and switch on this video camera. ...You touched the box? Then I'm kicking you out of the house, and your kids and grandkids can't ever visit either!" And all this in, like, the first five minutes after humans were created. Creation: FAIL.
The thing with Job, where God got into a pissing contest with a former employee and killed all Job's kids. But he gave Job NEW kids after proving his point, so THAT'S okay. Compensation: FAIL. Why not bring the dead kids back, since that was ENTIRELY POSSIBLE?
The whole Noah's Ark thing, which is for some reason considered a cute nursery theme. Aw, two of every animal, the only two who weren't wiped off the earth by God's tantrum! Adorbs!
Some little kids call Elisha bald, so God sends bears to rip them to shreds. Er? Proportionate discipline: FAIL.
All the TESTS and TRICKS. Geez, a person could get JUMPY with all the set-ups. Touch the ark totally by accident? SMITE! Express doubt that someone who leads people for 40 years aimlessly through a desert knows where he's going? EXCLUDE! Follow the rules set down by God himself in the Old Testament? PUBLIC SHAMING BY JESUS!
All the "women are soooooooo unclean" things. Yes, IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD CREATED THEM DIFFERENTLY, huh?
OMG, all the "virgins as loot of battle" crap. Totally God-sanctioned! Take the girls for your own pleasure, as many as you want! But only the virgins, because Used Girls are ICKY! Kill those ones, ew.
How hard is it to set down some consistent rules? Seriously. If something is forbidden, say so don't pussyfoot around with arch hints and contradictory statements and tiny little mentions and inconsistent anecdotes. We have ONE MANUAL, and it needs a MUCH better writer.
"I'll call you," followed by more than 2000 years of waiting by the phone.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...