October 6, 2009

Quick!

This has to be QUICK: I have 10 minutes before my mother-in-law is UP IN MY GRILL.

ONE! Because it was the LEAST important thing on my To Blog list, I have written another disclosure post. Oh hai. I can haz prioritiez?


TWO! William's best friend is a girl. He saw some inexpensive charms at Hallmark where you can click the two halves of a heart together, and he found his own name AND his friend's name on heart halves (it's lucky his best friend is a girl, because only girl-boy halves fit together), and he wanted SO BADLY to get them each a necklace with both names on it, so I allowed it.

Now I'm feeling a little awk. Should he be giving jewelry to a friend in third grade? Will her parents think that's weird? So what I'm asking you is: should I have asked the mom first, or should I have sent a note to her about it the day William gave his friend the present? Does it change things if he brought the necklace in today and I neither asked first nor sent a note?

27 comments:

Amanda said...

Zack is in third grade and a giant love and would probably want to do the same thing. I'd allow it. Maybe shoot the mom and email or call her today. It's awkward at this age. Also, maybe warn William that maybe her parents might not like that and that that's okay.

Julie said...

I have no advice for you, but I just have to say - THAT IS ADORABLE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

It is TOTALLY fine, I have two sons and would have TOTALLY let them do that, and I also have one daughter, and I WOULD NOT have been weirded out if she had received such a kind, thoughtful gift from a wonderful boy like your son. I think it would be an honor. Now that my daughter is 17, though, please let it be known that I want her to receive NO GIFTS at ANY TIME from ANY BOY for ANY REASON (yes, I am a freak, but don't worry, not a scary one) - but that does not apply here :). Please, you have enough to worry about this week - scratch this one right off of your list. Oh, and I commented on your YA books post (amazing), and I want the thought of a YA Book Club to sustain you through this week of Trials and Tribulations. :) YOU ROCK ~JENNY in MD

-R- said...

I can't imagine the parents being bothered by their daughter receiving the necklace. I mean, they must know their daughter is friends with your son.

Hope you're surviving the visit with minimum pain.

Jessica said...

As a parent of a little girl slightly younger than your son, I wouldn't be upset by such a guft. But I think I would appreciate a sort of jokey call or an email about it too. If I were you I would send an email, because it sort of avoids the awk.

d e v a n said...

It's totally cute. I would probably send a short email or note too, but not one the kids could see.
If you don't, I wouldn't worry about it - I doubt it will be a big deal.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

I think it's darling.

Nowheymama said...

I'd send a note or email, just to be clear.

Fiona Picklebottom said...

I have all girls, and since a boy's mom sat down next to me last year and told me that her son and my daughter (both kindergartners) KISSED ON THE BUS, I would WELCOME something as benign as a necklace.

St said...

My 6 yr old has received little gifts of plastic jewelry from two (boy) friends. I thought it was cute. Honestly if the parent had said something about it I would have thought they were making it into something not as innocent and I would have thought that was weird and I might have even been leery of the parent in the future.

Swistle said...

St- AH! YES! This is exactly what I was worried about when I was trying to compose the note! Everything I wrote seemed like it was saying "NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WEIRD GOING ON HERE, HA HA HA!" Awk.

3carnations said...

Do you have her email address? Send a quick, light and fluffy note - William really wanted to get that necklace for your daughter. Don't worry - No need to pick out china patterns!

Alice said...

oh my gosh that is FREAKING CUTE. your son is a good one :-)

Little-Bit said...

If the mommy is paying attention like you are, she would know that they are just best buddies, nothing more. I think you did right by not making a big deal out of it. And, ZOMG, how adorable!!!

Cookie said...

I would have allowed it too. My 4-year-old's best friend is a girl, and I don't think that that's likely to change. Either it will be this same girl, or a different girl. But I don't think it's weird at all. In fact I think it's super adorable. However, I think calling the mother would be a good idea. Just a hey, I know William and your daughter are really good friends and he saw these necklaces and wanted to get her one. No big deal.

Shelly said...

I have a daughter about a year younger than William and I think it's precious and would be fine with it, whether you sent a note or called or not. He sounds like a total sweetheart.

Anonymous said...

I rec'd a mini-rubix cube necklace from an admirer in the 3rd grade..I doubt I even told my parents (I'm the 7th of 8 kids). I think it's sweet and innocent--what a thoughtful boy!

:) -k

Farrell said...

at this age, I think it's totally cute, adorable, kind and innocent and I would not in any way - being the boy's mother (you) or the girl's mother (friend's mom) - want to hinder such genuine thoughtfulness.
And you didn't, so good job!:)
If you were friends with the mother, then you could give her a heads-up but otherwise I don't really think an email or note is necessary.

Christina said...

My brother had a very good female friend when he was younger and they gave ea. other gifts and nobody thought anything of it - since all parties knew they were friends.

I think an email or note has the potential to make it weird, but if they ask maybe laugh it off and explain that he was just excited to find both of their names, so you let him get it.

And honestly, they're in 3rd grade, they'll probably lose them in a week! ;)

C C Donna said...

I like the note about the china pattern... IF, you wanted to write a note, I'd do it by email (do the parents have one anothers email addresses??) and just say...I'm William's mom and he was excited about giving Sweet Suzie the necklace, no need to pick out a china pattern.

As the receiving mom, I would get a chuckle out of the letter. I guess the question is, does the mom know William? If so, I wouldn't bother with the letter as she knows he a cute, sweet boy. Even if she doesn't know him...I might not bother. After all, they are in 3rd grade and you're not allowing him to date, yet, right?

squandra said...

Would it be kosher to send a e-mail all, "My child gave your child a gift, I hope you don't mind, I'm a very polite lady blah blah blah" without even mentioning (much as I personally like the china pattern line) the boy-girl dynamic?

I doubt it's necessary, anyway ... But that's something you could do without the awkwardness. She'll just think you have excellent manners, a la, "Is it alright with you if I offer your child this sugary treat?"

el-e-e said...

Nahh, don't feel awk. It's cute! Next time you see her (the girl's mom), you could casually mention you were feeling awk. about it, but I agree emailing makes it MORE awk.

Awk Awk. Love that abbrev.

p.s. How's the VISIT going?

jen said...

I think you should just email her a photograph of yourself doing that shrug/"IIIIIdunno" mouth motion thing. :)

Miss Grace said...

I received stuff like that in elementary school and I don't think I or my parents thought anything of it.

I wouldn't bother with the note, that's making a bigger deal of it than it is. Gabriel's best friend at school (not to be confused with HIS WIFE BECAUSE HE ALSO HAS A WIFE OMG HE'S THREE!!!!) is a girl, and I would let him get her something like that (BUT NOT HIS WIFE)

willikat said...

Dude, if her parents don't think it's heart-meltingly adorable, it's their fault. You don't need to ask permission to do nice things for best friends. :)

Kelly said...

I think its really sweet and I wouldn't have an issue with Cliff giving or receiving such a thing. But if I didn't know the other parents, I'd probably send a light note saying he really wanted to get this for his bestest friend, Jenny...or something.

So much good luck to you with the impending invasion...er, I mean visit.

Daycare Girl said...

So, with all these comments saying it's fine, I feel like a crazy hovering helicopter mom, but I might not like it if my daughter got jewelry. :) It would depend on the boy. If it's from the one that's been giving her his phone number and chasing her around trying to kiss her, NO. But a nice boy that I've heard her talk about being friends with, okay.

I think that since William is such good friends with this little girl, her mom will probably be fine with it.