October 24, 2009

Hi, Wyoming! You are So Great!

I have been playing with Google Analytics, something I rarely do because I don't understand ANYTHING on that site and never will. But totally by accident I found out how to do a map that shows how many visitors this blog got from each state in the last month. You know where I am WILDLY UNPOPULAR? Wyoming and North Dakota. So I thought I'd do something to even out the stats a little. Something that might appeal to people from Wyoming and North Dakota, because clearly I have been ALIENATING PEOPLE FROM WYOMING AND NORTH DAKOTA.

I'm going to start with Wyoming, because even taking into account that Wyoming has the fewest residents of any state, it is disproportionately unfond of me. For example, in the last month I have had 10 visits to my site from Wyoming. Nebraska, which has about 3 times the population of Wyoming, has visited 300 times---30 times as many visitors from a state with 3 times the population. Wyoming HATES me.

So! Yellowstone! That's a great park, yeah? Really awesome! Tourists should totally go there, and then they should spend lots of money while in the state, and they should send me postcards because I would treasure them!

And can I get a shout-out for coal and whatever has to be done to get it out of the ground? Sounds like hard work!

Go, Casper Ghosts! Go, Wyoming Calvary! Go, Wyoming Cowboys and Wyoming Cowgirls!

Did you know Dick and Lynne Cheney are BOTH from Wyoming? It's true! So is Buffalo Bill! So is Jackson Pollock, he of the splatter paintings! Also: William Henry Harrison! Not the 9th president of the United States, no. Apparently it is a common name.

And you know what the coolest shape is for a state to be? Largish and nearly rectangular! It is way easier to fill in those places on the map, you can't deny THAT. Not like all those skimpy twisted little northeastern states!

You know what else is great? Being north of Colorado! Wooo!

Wyoming may not like me, but as I read their Wikipedia entry I am liking THEM more and more. Did you know they win first prize for "Feminism Before It Was Cool"? Yes! They were the first state to acknowledge the right of women to vote, and the first to have women on a jury, and the first to elect women to several different positions of political power I've forgotten in the time it took me to get back here from Wikipedia. This is why they are called The Equality State, and that's something I never knew and/or never knew the reason behind and/or was too busy writing notes to my boyfriend to hear when it was told to me in class.

Also, did you know they have a State Dinosaur? It's the triceratops. That is AWESOME.

27 comments:

Kristi said...

You are amazing - I only wish I were from Wyoming.

beyond said...

now i desperately want to visit wyoming...

Tessa said...

If it makes you feel better, even though I don't live there anymore, I'm from North Dakota and I'm a big fan. You should take into account that much of the population in ND is older and rural and not so much into these newfangled computer machines, or using the dial-up for anything except checking the price of Hard Red Winter Wheat. So there's that.

But if you need some ND stuff to be a fan of, try Medora! Theodore Roosevelt! NDSU Bison and whatever the mascot of UND is these days! Billion dollar budget surplus! Oil! (Those last two are directly related...) Snow on the ground in June and October and all in between!

Hotch Potchery said...

Mr. P is from Wyoming, and next time we go visit (gag) I will read your blog from there!

Christina said...

It might also be that they don't have internet, or their connection is really slow! My bf's parents live in a pretty rural farmy area and they still have dial-up, it's the only thing offered! I don't know how much surfing and blog reading I would be doing if I still had dial up...

Jess said...

I am really curious to see if this works. How often do people in Wyoming google facts about their own state, I wonder? Keep us posted on whether or not your WY stats go up!

Lucy said...

Wyoming is now my new favorite state...and that is saying alot from someone who is from the East Coast!

Tenille said...

I'm a huge fan here in South Dakota. Thank goodness you were just north of offending me.

Kira said...

And what, I'm supposed to just ACCEPT that kind of CONTEMPT for Colorado? Like Wyoming is somehow BETTER than us?
WHATEVER.

Jennifer said...

Hi Swistle. I am a regular reader from Minnesota but I have a secret: I am a native North Dakotan. Yep, born and raised in the Peace Garden State. So even though you focused on Wyoming and not really on North Dakota, I am stepping up. See, North Dakota is the hated stepchild of all the states. It has the least tourism. It has a terrible reputation. Some people even think that no actual people live there. I am here to tell you, it is there, people live there, and it is a pretty nice place (although I would not recommend it between mid-November and mid-April). Teddy Roosevelt loved the badlands there, it has some nice cities (although to be honest, I think Fargo is the equivalent of hell on earth), and the people there are (mostly) some of the friendliest, most hard-working folks on the planet. Sorry this is so long but it's just to say that even though I am a Minnesotan now I will try to get my ND friends and family to visit you, and you really do have a ND fan base. :)

Shelly Overlook said...

The triceratops has always been my favorite dinosaur!

Danell said...

You are friggin' hilarious!

Steph the WonderWorrier said...

Man. That was STELLAR!

Jenni said...

Oh, I had totally forgotten that about WY being the first state to give women the right to vote. Um, and state dinosaur is the triceratops? That's Oscar's favorite dino. Please forget my previous remarks disparaging Wyoming. It is cearly awesome, in a largish and square kind of way.

Erica said...

I know we're no Wyoming, but Texas loves you.

SIL Anna said...

Also, your brother and I stopped in (we think it was) Laramie on a cross-country trip. Granted, we were traveling from Expensive City to Expensive City, but we ate at a brewery there, and had, like, a four course meal--plus beer!-- for a sum total of THIRTY DOLLARS for both of us. We could not believe it. I don't know if everyplace in Wyoming is that cheap, but, MAN. That was awesome.

Hobo Mama said...

Oh, my golly, I had to read that aloud to my husband. Much snorting ensued.

cardiogirl said...

I had no idea Google Analytics would help me out with my reader's locales.

It looks like I have quite a few countries to work on, such as Pakistan, Belarus and Poland. (Couldn't figure out how to drill into particular states though I do have an issue with Arkansas which will remain between the two of us.)

I've decided my laser-like focus shall be on Morroco, because I like the sound of it.

cardiogirl said...

Sweet! I just found the state break down. And it looks like Arkansas is offering an olive branch in the way of six readers.

But I'm having trouble with the east coast. Bastards.

Stacia said...

Hey, this Google Analytics map is neat. Apparently there is only one person in Monaco who likes my blog. I must rectify this!

Anonymous said...

A few helpful hints...As a transplanted Wyomingite...
1. It is all about U.W. Cowboys!!!
2. We do NOT think being north of Colorado is cool...we don't really like them. They are snobs.
3. Grand Tetons
4. Wind River
5. Cody all summer long rodeos!
6. Frontier days..oldest rodeo in the country.
7. Hole in the Wall
8. Last but not least...Wyoming Dinosaur Center in Thermopolis. The BEST DINOSAUR MUSEUM IN THE U.S. And there are hot springs in town too.

Maureen said...

Wyoming is AWESOME! Beautiful country, so progressive in women's rights-I loved the city of Cody so much I named my dog after it.

That is a huge compliment by the way-not sarcasm.

I drove out to Glacier National Park from the Midwest, and then down to Yellowstone. One of the best trips of my life.

Farrell said...

you make me laugh:)

Anonymous said...

In addition to having very chill, awesome people, and beautiful scenery, Wyoming has the coolest license plates ever. There is a cowboy (the trademarked "bucking horse and rider") on every Wyoming license plate since 1936.

How can you not love that?
Answer: You can't. You cannot not love it because it rules. ILU Wyoming.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

As someone who grew up in South Dakota, I only went to Wyoming a couple of times (those big states take a long time to get across!). A state dinosaur...that's very cool!

My favorite town in Wyoming boasts about its population: 11 (and I have a tee to prove it).

Emily R said...

I'm sorry to say, next to Nevada, Wyoming is my least favorite state, but it has nothing to do with the people. I have one good friend from each. GOOD friends. But the triceratops thing is pretty neat.

Dionna @Code Name: Mama said...

Simply hilarious! Someday I may write something inspired by this post, but I'll be sure to link back to you ;)