October 26, 2009

Grocery List

Jenny in MD wanted to see the whole list from this post. I think if you click on it you can see it larger.



Some of the weirder things on the list are household words for things. We call ground turkey "turko," for example, and I'd be hard-pressed to tell you why. And "petted eggs" means the ones from "cage-free certified humane" chickens, because we picture the chickens being loved and petted (NO ONE NEED DISILLUSION ME ON THIS) and so of course the eggs would also be loved and petted. "LH" is Paul's nickname for me, so "LH milk" is skim milk. "Baby milk" and "baby yogurt" just means "the kind the kids drink/eat." "Pink cereal" is what the kids call strawberry shredded wheat.

I would like to point out that when he put guacamole-mix powder on the list over in Produce, he wrote it as "pow." So I was even less open to the argument that "Lysol disinfecting wipes, 80 ct, on sale for $2.99 - get 2" was INSUFFICIENT INFORMATION for him to come home with the correct item.

43 comments:

Jess said...

Now I kind of want a grocery code. T and I just write actual item names of things. Boring!

Mairzy said...

Well, blah. And I was so proud of our master list, but ours doesn't have the cool little boxes next to it to check or write quantity.

We have a couple of code words on ours. Like "geo," for instance. Short for "George." Euphemism for "very personal item." I got it from my sister-in-law, told it to August as a joke, and it stuck.

I admire your systems. You may not have clean baseboards, but you can run a household!

-- Mairzy

Jen said...

Oh wow. Thank you. I don't know why I never thought to have a standing list and then just check what is needed. Swistle, you are a revolutionary.

Erica said...

I'm opening an excel doc now to create my own Swistle Master Grocery List (tm). When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.

Marie Green said...

When you buy birds eye mixed veggies (or bird's eye anything) they come from Tiny Town! How cool is that, you eating veggies that I saw trucked past my house this summer? ;)

Also, you are WAYYYYYYYYY more organized than I am.

susical said...

love it. you are a genius, and an amusing one at that. hooray!

Kathi A said...

I love this! I don't know why I never thought to have a computerized list before either.

Rolling Off The Edge... Together said...

We used to have a list like this till my FIL broke the computer that was attached the printer and we have been to dang lazy to do anything about any of it. We have the lap top and the broken computer was fixed but the FIL TOTALLY zapped the hard drive so that the card thingy that the printer would attach to is gone forever SO we hardly use that one any more. Sadly the really expensive scanner/printer/fax maching thingy sits hiding a closet now. WE LOVED OUR LIST and I hardly ever forgot anything AND our meals were organized better. Sadly, not so much any more.

Tess said...

I LOVE THIS. I'm going to need MORE on how this works. Is this the master list IN ITS ENTIRETY? Or do you have several versions? Also, your meat section only has TWO ITEMS!

Also also, I cannot believe no one else has asked what LH means!

desperate housewife said...

I was wondering about the meat, too. No ground beef or pork chops or fish or whatever?
Also, my kids call strawberry shredded wheat "pink cereal" too!

Beth said...

LH?

desperate housewife said...

And yeah! What the heck does LH stand for, cause doesn't your name start with a K?

Christy said...

Bless you, Swistle, for calling it 'pop'. I have lived in the South for 5 years now and I refuse to call it 'soda' and I get made fun of every time.

Swistle said...

Tess- That's the whole and only list, but periodically Paul goes in and makes changes. We tend to eat in lonnnnng cycles, where for months we eat a lot of soup and pizza, and then for months we switch to tacos and BLTs, or whatever.

When my MIL was here, that was the first time I ever bought a LARGE CHUNK OF MEAT and COOKED IT. We basically eat only (1) ground turkey, (2) boneless skinless chicken breast, and (3) deli meat.

I can't believe, either, that no one else has asked about LH!

-R- said...

I have been following along with your grocery saga and have totally agreed with you that Paul needs to do a better job. Then I went grocery shopping with a list of 8 things that my husband wanted me to get, and I screwed up TWO of the things. Dang it.

In my defense, it was only the first or second time I have ever done all the shopping on my own with a list from my husband.

-R- said...

FYI, if I hit the "Post Comment" button, I can't comment. I have to select "Preview" for it to work.

Swistle said...

-R-- Good to know about the comment form. This is the second problem I've heard of, so I'm beginning to think this form will be short-lived.

Shelly Overlook said...

I find your canned group (or lack thereof) very interesting. Why is gum canned?

Alice said...

one day, i'll do weekly grocery shopping. i assume that will not happen until i have children, though ;-P

d e v a n said...

Thanks for the explanation. I was just wondering what petted eggs were...

Christina said...

I have codes for our list too. I tried a master list, but there are so many changes ea. week I barely checked items and always ended up writing tons in the extra section. I always joke that if somebody found our list they'd a) never be able to decipher it or b) laugh their asses off.

PS the comment box only works in IE for me. Users having problems in firefox might want to try in IE

Anonymous said...

I can DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN because you have MENTIONED ME BY NAME in an actual post - not just in the comments - and you are seriously my hero, and you are such an awesome writer, and I feel like you are my friend, and I appreciate your hard work to make average ladies like me feel NORMAL. How do you do this? How do you make life feel better for us all? Honestly, your blog is a PUBLIC SERVICE, and even my 17-year-old daughter can glean important information here and follows you lovingly. I pass this link on to many. Really, though, thank you for posting this entry and allowing me (and the rest of your grateful readers) to have this Grocery List Insight. You rock, and now I am going to send you a Personal E-Mail to thank you properly and to let you know that I am not insane (at least, the insanity has not yet been diagnosed by a professional). Thanks again. ~Jenny in MD

Mimi said...

I am LAUGHING at the petted eggs. So cute! We do the pre-made grocery list too. I think I need to re-vamp mine a little, though.

Jewels said...

I call noodles noods on my lists (and out loud). Makes me chuckle.

Swistle said...

Shelly Overlook- Hee! That DOES look funny! It's because the list is sorted by aisles, and the gum/candy is in the same aisle as what Paul considers "more cans" (as opposed to "cans").

Sabrina said...

I adore your list! It is fun to see what other people buy so frequently they deserve a spot on the checklist. I haven't updated my list in 3 years. You are inspiring me to get back to it. Maybe we'd eat more healthily.

So, what does MB mean?? Major Brand, as in "don't buy generic!"? That's all I could come up with. Please, please, DO share!

And do the typed-in X's mean that no matter what, you should ALWAYS buy this item?

BenBirdy1 said...

Wow, ogling your shopping list was the most fun I've had all day. Love that gum is canned. Also "petted eggs," "turko," and "pink cereal." So much fun to see other people's real lives. I truly loved it. xoxo

Barb @ getupandplay said...

I, too, want to know the difference between a check and an x. Great system!!

Claire said...

I saw the "S.Cream" and really thought it said scream for about the first three times I read it. I am sure my husband would be baffled by grocery code. Just the facts, ma'am, just the facts.

Swistle said...

Sabrina- MB stands for Market Brand, aka store brand. The printed-in X means it's something Paul wants to at least think of getting each time---and probably something he DOES get every time, like orange juice and bread and bananas.

Swistle said...

Barb @ getupandplay- A printed X means it's something we almost always get---or at least want to think about getting. A handwritten X means the same as a check---I think Paul tends to X and I tend to check. A number implies a check or an X but is more specific. A written zero means "FTLOG please do not buy any more of this, as already we have huge rotting heaps of it."

Swistle said...

Claire- ME TOO. I was like "What's scream?" Paul wrote that. He's also the one who came up with the code, which sometimes baffles me when I do the shopping. I call him from the store: "What's letturssss?" He says: "It's lettuce."

The Gori Wife said...

This post has only given me more questions, many of which you've already answered in the comments. Do I get extra points for having checked the other comments first? Are we never going to hear why it's LH? What kind of milk do you drink that's different from the baby milk? Who would ever want to eat thick slices of deli meat, isn't it all thin-sliced and shaved these days? Does Paul get to make the executive decisions about what kind of "chips" or "gum" or are these specific brands/flavors that he already knows about in advance?

Swistle said...

The Gori Wife- The LH nickname is not embarrassing but is difficult to explain---one of those "and then he started calling me THIS variation of that word, and we don't know why EITHER word was applicable, and one of them is an invented word." I drink skim milk; the kids used to drink whole milk but now drink 2%. The only kind of deli meat we get thick-sliced is the ham, and then we cook the slices in a frying pan and MMMMmmmmmm. The chips and gum are all Paul's, so he checks them when he needs more and then gets what he wants. YES extra points for checking other comments first!

Swistle said...

Also, has anyone noticed that CATHERINE NEWMAN (BenBirdy1) commented on this post? OMG. I hate to draw attention to it, but OMG.

Swistle said...

And by "hate," I might mean "love."

Stacia said...

We have a few weird names for items, too. Like we'll write down "malk" for "milk", because of a Simpsons episode. Also, "chicken beasts" instead of breasts, things like that. I'm pretty sure anyone who came across our grocery list would be frightened and appalled.

Alicia @ bethsix said...

Yep, I saw BenBirdy1 and clicked on the profile just to satisfy my curiosity that it was one of my early blogging day heroes (it was).

Okay, so here is my variation on your grocery list. We used this method for a year or so, then moved, lost the list, haven't started it over, but SHOULD because, when we used it, IT WAS GOLDEN...

Okay. So. We had an electronic list like this, in 3 or 4 columns, all on one sheet of paper, listing everything I could think of that we ever ever ever bought. Organized by frozen, refrigerated, meat, blah blah blah, and THOSE categories were organized on the page the way we went through the specific store at which we usually shopped. Okay. So we had the list, right?, and here is the brilliant part. We put it in a PAGE PROTECTOR (and then inside a binder, but that's neither here nor there), and we would just HIGHLIGHT the items with a light-colored dry-erase marker as we ran out of them. Then, after we went to the store, we'd wipe the highlighting off the items we bought, and leave the ones we didn't get highlighted for next time.

It was a fabulous system, and I'm feeling very stupid now that I don't still do this...

The Gori Wife said...

Okay..what about this, is the list pre=printed, or does he go in and check things off and then print before leaving for the store? Do you let him know what you need and he's in charge of the checking off? Or are all the checks already there and you just have the hand annotations? Is that all Paul's handwriting? What could you possibly need that constant supply of avocados for? It can all be guacamole, can it? Also, does he actually call you LH? Like, to your face? The letters, or the words they stand for?

Sorry to be so weirdly interested in your grocery list (/life.)

Swistle said...

The Gori Wife- This is increasingly funny. The list is pre-printed and hangs on the fridge all week. Anyone who notices we're using the last of something is supposed to put it on the list, but we also both do a run-through right before he leaves for the store: he evaluates milk/egg/meat situations, for example, and I go through the sale flier. He does literally go through that much guacamole: he eats it, like, three times a week or even more. He calls me LH in writing, but only the word H stands for in speaking. The handwriting: Paul wrote s.cream, pepp, nutella, and pow; he also wrote the numbers next to things, and I think all the X marks. I wrote the rest, including check marks.

The Gori Wife said...

Okay, I think I'm done now :)

the new girl said...

I am partial to the heading: Canned Matter. Sounds very mysterious.

We call those eggs 'Nice People Eggs.' We also call any meat substitute 'Fake' as in 'Fake Turkey' 'Fake Sausage,' etc.

brzeski said...

I saw! I saw! I thought to myself, hmmmm...BenBirdy1? Is it HER??? No, surely just a fan. Then she ended it with the xoxo!!!!!!!!!!! And I KNEW! and lo, I was very jealous. Green. Catherine Newman! Reads your blog! How will you get over yourself, is what I want to know.