May 28, 2009

I Swear to Tell the Whole Truth. If I Can Remember It.

I present the following evidence that I am losing my mind:

1. I was making a portrait appointment for Henry. I asked for "Saturday" and she said, "Okay, I have 10:00 on June 6th." I was pretty sure there was a Saturday before that, but I couldn't clarify my question because I couldn't remember (1) what today's date was, or (2) what day of the week today was. Tuesday? Saturday? No clue.

2. When I bought a plane ticket to go see my niece, I thought it was a 6-hour non-stop flight. This is because the flight number didn't change, and no third airport was listed, and the number of stops was listed as "1". I thought the "1 stop" was....well, I thought it was the landing.

3. Earlier this week, I completely forgot to make the kids their dinner. Paul said, "Uh..." and I had to sprint to the kitchen and make sandwiches because there was no time for anything else.

4. I have completely forgotten my fourth piece of evidence.

5. I was doing a breast self-exam and found a lump and panicked. The lump turned out to be a nipple.

6. As we left the play area at the mall, I thought, "Oh! If I hadn't been paying attention, I would have thought that stroller was mine! It's the same as the one I had for the twins when they were babies!" It WAS my stroller.

38 comments:

Lora said...

like a nipple you never knew about? or one of the normal ones?

Swistle said...

One of the regular ones. *embarrassed* I'm just glad I figured it out before I called the doctor.

d e v a n said...

Omg, that's hilarious! haha

bat7mess said...

It's called Mommy Brain. I could compile my own list to make you feel better.

Hairline Fracture said...

Swistle, I just love you. That is all.

Shelly said...

God, I love you. I think we all could make a list like this. In fact, my last post was about something very similar.

CassJustCurious said...

This cracked me up. Thanks for that!
The 1 stop is the landing. I've SO thought that.

Anonymous said...

I completely do the same types of things sometimes. Like yesterday when my husband chatted all evening about ironing his pants and I, in an attempt to tidy the den up, put away the ironing board and iron. Duh.

Hotch Potchery said...

I had an ENTIRE conversation about how fast the first week of summer school went at lunch yesterday with some co-workers. After I went ON and ON, one of them said...uhhh. It hasn't been a week, today is Wednesday.

blech.

Jiff said...

OMG. I laughed SO hard at this! I agree with bat7mess... MOMMY BRAIN. Yeesh. I had it BAD for a while. And I get that way every now and then. :)

It's okay. Just keep them written down so you can laugh later. :)

Snoopyfan said...

I can so relate! I just scored 0% on one of those "How well do you know me" quizzes on FB for a former roommate of mine. I lived with this person for well over a year! Sheesh!

Kim said...

It kind of makes it a little worrisome how things are going to be for us twenty years from now, doesn't it.

Melospiza said...

I double dare you to go to the doctor with your "lump." Just for the expression on her (his?) face: trying manfully to be caring and sympathetic, yet still, this woman who has nursed five children has just now noticed her nipple? Perhaps the doctor would ask some gently leading questions, like, "Have you noticed if there's a similar lump on the other breast? Often symmetry means we're not dealing with cancer."

Hillary said...

You are too funny. Is there a reason you're losing your mind?

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Oh, this is so funny. Glad to hear it was just a lumpy nipple.

Jess said...

OK this whole post made me laugh but also I am stuck on the portrait thing. Portraits of Henry! I can't wait to see them! I wish you'd been able to make the appointment for this Saturday so that we could see them sooner!

Serial Mommy said...

i have had many many moments just like these....i have found that since being pg with twins, i can no longer spell, and it's much harder to type, though i'm not quite sure why? i am having to backspace quite a bit more and i sit and question how to spell a word that i know i used to be able to spell just fine...and i think a complete sentence and i type it out and then re read it and realize i forgot a key word or two, though i'm not sure how THAT happens either...i know i THOUGHT the word, so why isn't it there???

Alice said...

my gyno told me once a woman came in panicked because she'd found a lump. it turned out to be a rib.

Callie said...

Oh goodness - this is NORMAL. It happens to me all the time. Trust me, with everything you have going on in your head, things slip out. It's natural. I like the MOMMY BRAIN diagnosis. I think I'll let hubby know it now has a name.

:-D

the new girl said...

Oh, this is great. GREAT!

Just today, I SEARCHED the backseat for my kid's baby as I was getting her out of the car and then I realized that she was, uh, between my knees.

OMFG.

Giselle said...

Oh! I'm laughing too hard to write my own stories...which I totally have daily. The stroller one had me practically crying. I am going to make my husband read this so he stops worrying that I have early onset Alzheimer's.

Frondly said...

This is hilarious!

Tuesday, we were doing a round of hugs before our friends left for the airport to return home.

I said, "Okay, HI!" and hugged my friend, who said, "Uh, I'm not actually ARRIVING. I'm LEAVING."

Kira said...

The other night I was nursing the baby (sitting up, because she has reflux - soooo unfair, when my sleep nursing skills are second to none), and I cooed some nonsense or another to her, "That's my sweet Sophia," or something like that.
Then I thought "oh, Sophia! What a pretty name! We should name the baby Sophia!"
You know, the seven week old infant in my arms.
Named Sophia.

Megan said...

I remember my mom saying when we were young that sometimes she not only forgot what day of the week it was but what month it was. I thought she was completely insane. Now I know better as I have done both. I also told the pediatrician the other day that my four year old was three. "It says here on the chart that he is four??" Oh. Yeah. He is four.

Amanda said...

I love it! I could write this post every day of the week. My dh also thinks I have early dementia.

Whimsy said...

You may be losing your mind, but at least your among friends.

Kristi said...

This is SO funny! I have so many days like that - you just have to laugh it off and chalk it up to too much to do and remember.

Anonymous said...

I have a purple sunfire coupe that I adore. Whenever I come across it in a parking lot, I am saying to myself, gee what a cute car! And then I'll inspect it further and FINALLY realize that it is MY car. Duh.

Steph the WonderWorrier said...

I didn't read the other comments yet, so I'm sure this has all been said, but whatever...

That's some serious mommy-brain my dear friend! LOL.

Also... did you find a NEW nipple??? An extra one for rainy days??

ALSO... so what is the landing then when it IS a direct flight? There is NO logic to this 1-stop thing. None.

Missives From Suburbia said...

I would swear I wrote this list, except there's now way I could remember that many things.

In my circle of friends, we refer to it as momnesia or placenta brain.

shriek house said...

This morning I instigated a frantic several-minute search for the car keys, the zomg where did I put them car keys, the we're going to be late for school car keys, the RIGHT IN MY EFFING HAND car keys. Oy.

Also? One stop is ONE STOP. The landing is ONE STOP, not the stop AFTER the one stop. The airlines are WRONG. Duh.

Michelle said...

Oh I am soooo feeling a little better about myself now. I love your evidence. And I think we've ALL been there. Once or twice ;)

BRash said...

Don't feel bad about #2, Southwest's "stop-but-not-a-layover" like "what-are-they-a-bus-service?" is weird at best and no other airline does that.

And #5 is hil-A-rious.

(My word verification is the almost offensive soudning "mudget".)

Anna said...

The other day I was looking for a dirty cup that I thought I'd already put in the dishwasher, but it wasn't there. Later on I found it in the fridge.

My husband calls it 'being woolly'.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

*giggle*

I totally sympathize. Glad I'm not the only one.

Mary said...

As someone who has run into a friend early in the day while shopping, gotten engrossed in conversation with friend, gotten into friend's car, spent the day with friend, been dropped off at my house, and only realized late in the evening that my car was somewhere around town and couldn't remember where .... I fully understand. This was even before Mommy brain so as of now, I should be committed.

Beth said...

mommy brain example: today i was browsing the old navy clearance section, looking for jeans in my size. a few mins. later i found the cutest black sandals and grabed a pair w/o trying them on. after i checked out and hauled my 2.5 y/o to the car with our bags, stroller, etc. i realized that i bought the shoes in my PANTS size. luckily it dawned on me before i drove away, but i had to haul my daughter back into the store in search of my correct SHOE size, and, as you know, shopping with a toddler = not easy, fun or relaxing. i have cute new shoes, though.

Erin said...

I loved this list. And giggled my way through it. We've all been there (clearly, from the comments).

My most recent symptom: I left the house, got in the car, drove (with my husband and kids) to the movie store, only to realize when I got out of the car that I was still wearing my slippers. NOT my shoes. I had a feeling that I was forgetting something the whole time. Yeah. Shoes. Oops!