May 12, 2009


Oh, hello! I am home! In the first hour, I:

1) Removed a tick from Henry's scalp
2) Removed clumps of peanut butter from the underside and leg of the coffee table
3) Cleaned up the results of a child over-using air freshener without permission (and then threw away the air freshener because what are we, an anarchy now?)

Note that it was not until the second hour that I:

4) Peed

And I have not yet:

5) Unpacked
6) Read my email
7) Deleted any of the "over 1000" (!) posts in my Google Reader

Paul proudly reported that he brushed everyone's teeth TWICE while I was gone. So THAT went well. And my parents, who took over the shift I usually work alone, did not run screaming into the sea, so THAT went well too.

Seat choice report, for those of you who didn't read my laboriously-thumbed Twitter updates: my favorite seat on a Southwest plane is the window seat in row 20. It's right over where they load the luggage, so you can count pink suitcases and be glad yours is a carry-on because GEEZ do they have to SLING them around like that? That's rough enough to snap a SOCK. And oooh, nice muscles! It's close enough to the wing that you can make sure the wing is still attached and so you really feel like you're On An Airplane, but not so close that the wing blocks your view. The seats toward the front fill up first, so that I had a whole row to myself for one flight, even though the front half of the plane had people sitting even in some of the MIDDLE seats. But it's not so far back that the bathroom line is standing next to you. I hesitate to recommend the seat, since the next time I fly I might find YOU sitting in MY favorite seat, but I guess there are lots of flights I WON'T be on.

The view from window seat row 20

What else? Oh, yes, here's my recommended Carry-On Snack List:

1) apple
2) baggie of pecans
3) empty water bottle filled at a water fountain after security
4) candy bars
5) chocolate-covered dried cherries
6) baggie of roasted salted sunflower seeds

I found this covered all my snacking needs satisfactorily. Raisinets make an acceptable substitute for the chocolate-covered dried cherries. Milk chocolate Dove with almonds was my favorite candy bar.

Can it get better than this? I put it to you than it cannot.


Annika said...

When we flew Southwest with a toddler and a car seat we headed straight for the back of the plane and were very happy there. Well, except for the flight with the evil flight attendant. Being near the galley didn't have as much appeal on her flight.

beyond said...

"empty water bottle filled at a water fountain after security"
that is genius. GENIUS. why have i never thought of that?!?
i always drink a water bottle before security, throw the empty bottle away and buy a $6 bottle after security because i live in constant fear of dehydration in airports and airplanes.
you have changed my life.

Christina said...

I'm with beyond - NEVER thought to bring my own empty bottle - always buy the pricey ones after security.

I like the back of the plane, it's usually less crowded and the people aren't as rushed and in a hurry to elbow you to get off like people in the front of the plane. My aunt, who went to aeronautical school for 6 yrs, also says it's the "safest." I kept her from elaborating b/c really - who wants to hear plane horror stories?

Jewels said...

A TICK!?! Ylech!! Please tell me it was just crawling around and had not attached....

katethegr8 said...

oh my god I live the sale sticker on the dove bar...your right IT CANT GET ANY BETTER...well unless everything was

Anonymous said...

WELCOME BACK, SWISTLE. You were missed. Still loving your comments about Niestle's toes. Yummy :). Post a lot this week, pretty please???? XOXO ~ JENNY IN MD

Mimi said...

Oooohhh... magazines and candy bars... my absolute fave! It doesn't get any better than that.

Alice said...

1) holy cow, you look, like, 14 in that picture of you with niestle. seriously.


3) back in the day i worked for a Major US Airline, but in corporate hq doing office work. one day there was a strike, so they asked us to fly up to philly and help out at the airport since no one was coming into work, and i ended up on the tarmac throwing bags. and i always thought the same thing as you, like, GEEZ, must they be so VIOLENT with the bags? i mean honestly! so for the first 5 bags or so i was gentle. turns out after 5 bags, though, you're all OMG IF THIS PERSON DIDN'T PACK THEIR SHIT WELL ENOUGH TO BE TOSSED ON A PLANE THAT IS NOT MY *&#^&@#^ PROBLEM AND THERE IS NO WAY THIS BAG IS UNDER THE WEIGHT LIMIT JESUS H PINAFORE PEANUTS HOW MANY MORE *&^#@*&^#@ BAGS ARE THERE *commence violent throwing of bags*

ahem. so, uh, now i know why they're so rough with the bags.

Whimsy said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE the seat recommendation and review a la Swistle. It's Classic Swistle, actually, since you're just so darn good at explained the Why's and the Why Not's of a good recommendation. But, as you said, you now run the risk of having one of us sitting in your favorite seat in the future.

And really? A TICK? Oh my.

Kathy said...

Glad the house was still standing and that the kids were all still alive when you got home! Priorities, right?

Vicki said...

I found your blog a few days ago via blog hopping. I'm so happy I did. You crack me up!!!

Nowheymama said...

A TICK??? *shudder*

Kim said...

I always allow myself the luxury of expensive magazines when I fly - usually Vanity Fair. It makes me feel like I have a way more interesting life than I do. I'm not sure why.
And yes, the water trick was genius.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Welcome back! Sorry you were greeted by a tick upon arrival.

Tara said...

Yuck, TICKS. My son had his first one on his head several weeks ago--my hubby yanked it off with tweezers after several tries and much cursing.

Then a couple of weeks ago, at a birthday party for a friend's daughter, I was helping my son with a potty break and noticed a tick WAY HIGH ON HIS LEG. Like, close to. . . you know. You've never seen a tick get removed so fast. GOD, those things give me the heebie-jeebies!! And how dare they attack mah baybee?

The pic of the Dove milk chocolate with almonds is calming me down, though, so thanks for that. ;)

Callie said...

Mmmmmm - I love chocolate covered cherries. The only thing better is this chocolate bar I used to get at the natural foods store. It was dark chocolate, cherries, and almonds. It was like sex - but I could have it at work.


Glad your trip went well. Don't go too crazy trying to catch up.

bat7mess said...

LOVE that Target clearance sticker on the Dove bar :) Welcome back and glad you had a good trip! Niestle is adorable! The pic you posted made me gobble up my own baby's little toes!

Jess said...

OMG I could not even READ that list of snacks because I am SO HUNGRY. Stupid pre-op liquid diet.

Welcome back! Glad the trip went so well.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

It cracked me up that you hadn't peed after being home an hour. That is a totally mom thing. I do it too.

Michelle said...

Awwww, isn't it nice to know you were missed? :)

I'm SO not surprised by the Target clearance sticker on that Dove bar though. Go you!