Updating the No More Babies situation is a tough call. Every time I talk about it I get a few ugly comments, and who likes that? Nobody! And also, I feel so blicky talking about how "wah, wah, I've only had five helpings," when other people haven't even had a first helping yet.
Still. This is a big thing to me, and it seems to me that "wanting a child" is a big thing to a lot of people, and so it's worth discussing---whether a person has zero children or one child or two children or eight children or whatever. But I plan to be brief about it and just sort of sum it up, not go on and on.
The reason I'm doing such a PREAMBLE is to give you a chance to duck out if you'd rather chew tin foil than hear a woman with five children give an update about wanting another child. I'm not going to talk about anything else in this post, so it's safe to take a pass on the whole thing.
Last chance! Last chance!
So. It was mid-December when Paul and I had the big talk. It took me several weeks to be able to find any positive things to say at all, and to work out a wallowing system. I found I felt better when I shopped and when I ate yummies and when I did fun stuff, and I felt even better when I thought about my niece and about the babies THREE of my friends were/are expecting and all the babies my online friends were/are expecting: it reminded me that I can still enjoy happy anticipation and happy family expansion, even if it's not happening in my exact household or barfing in my exact toilet.
Even so, I spent a solid two months feeling overall awful. Almost as if the sixth child already existed, and I had failed to save him/her, and now he/she was lost. Desperate.
The third month, I felt the first inklings that this might be a temporary feeling. I'm sure it had nothing to do with Henry getting full-swing into the Toddler Nutcase Era just as everyone came down with a nasty snarfing coughing cold accompanied by cough-related barfing.
And now it is almost the end of the fourth month, and I'd say I feel bad about it only 5% of the time, which is really really really good, and better than I'd been hoping for. Furthermore, I probably feel GOOD about it 5% of the time, too---also way better than I'd been hoping for. And perhaps most importantly of all, I'm spending large% of the time NOT THINKING ABOUT IT AT ALL.
Still, if you'd like to expand your family to make me feel better, please do. Very thoughtful of you.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...