March 21, 2009

Beauty Treatment

I went to the Urgent Care clinic this morning for a UTI beauty treatment, and already I am feeling a lot less like flinging my poor afflicted body off a ledge prettier. This paragraph takes a huge confident stride into TMIville, I realize. Sorry. (Not really sorry. I feel too much better to feel sorry.)

The BEST thing about an, er, beauty emergency that occurs right after closing time on Friday afternoon is that I am forced to go to the weekend Urgent Care, which means Paul is home and I don't have to bring any children with me. There are only so many times I can say, "PLEASE don't lick that" before I lose my borderline-germphobic mind.

Today I brought a BOOK to read in the waiting room! And I didn't have to explain ANYTHING to ANYBODY, other than "what I was there for" to "who I was there to see," which is okay because everyone involved was a consenting adult and nobody said "But WHY?"

Then, of course, I had to fill the prescription, and what could be more convenient than the Target pharmacy? And when they said, "10-15 minutes," I said, "Oh dear no, TAKE YOUR TIME" and went browsing around in the near-total silence of both my ears and my mouth, broken only by the sound of OTHER people's whining children, which is like the sweet relief of listening to a phone you don't have to answer.

I bought some Girl Scout Cookie ice cream, and the cutest little baking sheet EVER (it's for a toaster oven and it is SO WEE), and there wasn't really anything on clearance but I looked at the picked-over remains, and I considered a shirt for Elizabeth, and then with HUGE reluctance I went and paid for my prescription.

I wanted to take the first pill right away, but I was already at my car before I remembered that, so instead of going back inside to the drinking fountains I went to Wendy's and got a fish sandwich combo, which I know will totally gross out some of you but MAN I love fast-food fish. And I took my first health-restoring pill with a big drink of diet Coke, followed by a french fry from a packet I didn't have to share.

Then I drove home in a quiet car. Best time I've had in weeks. I should have a beauty treatment more often.

49 comments:

Nowheymama said...

My Saturday morning beauty treatment consisted of a trip to W@l-Mart and a couple other places. It was lovely.

Shannon said...

Totally get where you're coming from! And I only have two kids! Glad your "beauty treatment" resulted in some blessed alone time. (shannon@livinginthegray.com)

rccalyn said...

Funniest post in a LONG time! I can totally relate, and I only have one 2-year old! Sounds like I need a trip to urgent care myself!

Mama said...

I am going to forward this to all the people I know who wonder what is so hard about being a stay at home mom. :)

This explains perfectly all the things that we used to take for granted!

Alice said...

huh. i have never felt this happy to have a beauty treatment before. i think it's because i get to leave the cats at home any time i go to the beauty store :-)

nikki said...

I have never wished for a uti in my life, but man what I wouldn't give for a beauty treatment. With a shell shocked 4 year old and a tummy issue-fussy 3 week old I have no alone quiet time. Dang good thing the kids are cute.

Kathy said...

Any reason to get out of the house without the kids is beautiful! (I confess that I was hoping for pics of the wee baking sheet.)

Hillary said...

I've never had a beauty emergency, but I used guilt from his solo trip last weekend -- ALL weekend -- to score two hours this morning, wandering alone around Target, Kohl's and Barnes & Noble. WITH a mocha. Perfect.

Mommy Daisy said...

I think I could take a "beauty" treatment like that. I don't usually get any moments alone, even dealing with the ickiness of it doesn't sound too bad.

Dawna Drake said...

LOL, glad to see you got to enjoy your saturday :)

g~ said...

I actually look forward to my yearly girlie visits and twice-yearly dental trips as I get to sit in a waiting room for an undetermined amount of time reading trashy magazines..and then I get to lie around while someone else does all the work. AND...there is *No Telling* how long it will take...(insert on-the-sly trip to a sandwich shop, book browsing or sitting in quiet car listening to music time here) in the (wink, wink) Waiting Room. Here's to Beauty Emergencies and Grown-up Doctor's Visits.

Giselle said...

This makes me even more upset that we don't have any urgent care's near us. If we get sick on the weekend, we have to go to the ER...it's like we live in a frickin' 3rd world country or something ;)

Glad you had a splendid time...

Smiling Mama said...

Heaven! You should get those beauty treatments Friday night more often :)

Hairline Fracture said...

It's amazing what we moms will endure to get some "alone time." I've often thought I'd like to have a minor surgery just to get a couple of nights in the hospital!

Karly said...

Yep. The fast food fish totally grossed me out. I don't mind the UTI or any other over sharing, but the fish? Keep it to yourself. ;)

Dr. Maureen said...

My damn OB office is SO PROMPT I never have to wait. I am fortunate to be able to schedule all my appointments for Thursdays, which is the day Andrew has off from work (when *I* work, I work on Thursdays), so while a prompt appointment is ideal with toddler in tow, I would really rather they take their TIME. I'm sort of looking forward to my glucose test this week. I have to be there for an hour!

Sam said...

That sounds like a heavenly time. *sigh* I love fast food fish too. Too bad it is all coated in wheaty goodness.

d e v a n said...

That sounds pretty good, except for the being in pain part.

desperate housewife said...

This is exactly why I kind of liked being at the hospital after having Eli. Because ALONE! And food that was ALL MINE! And no one (except nurses that one time) following me to the bathroom!

Mairzy said...

I love how you handle sensitive topics. Deft touch.

It's the best thing to walk through a store without having to listen or talk.

I'm looking forward to my own two-or-so day beauty treatment after Baby is born in June.

Annika said...

This is so funny that I kept reading bits to my husband. (He hopes you feel better.) I myself went to the grocery store with my MIL and it was the fastest shopping trip IN HISTORY. And I didn't have to pay. I think I have just discovered why people like their in-laws.

Stimey said...

I get beauty treatments pretty frequently, so I'm glad to hear you didn't have to sit in a waiting room with your pre-beauty treatment feelings AND take care of kids.

Also, it's amazing how much more delicious non-shared french fries are, huh?

Christy said...

Strange coincidence! I just had my first visit for a "beauty treatment" yesterday! I didn't get to get away from children, but I did get to make my boss uncomfortable when I was explaining why I suddenly had to run out of the office for an "appointment" in the middle of the day.

Kim said...

Target, fast food fish and a UTI? We could be twins!
I'm glad you're feeling better; those things aren't fun.

bat7mess said...

Normally just a lurker, but I just had to comment this time and say I LOVED THIS :)

Kelsey said...

I'm glad you were able to turn your "beauty problem" into some nice alone time! What were you reading?

Swistle said...

A Window Over the Sink, by Peg Bracken. One of my favorites!

samantha jo campen said...

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself but isn't it sad that it comes down to THAT in order to get some quiet time? Sigh.

Nellyru said...

Mmmm...fast food fish sandwiches! Yummy!

So, yeah, I'm currently having a postpartum "beauty treatment" along with quite a few other discomforts in that area-

Your March 18 prediction was correct: Marshall Elizabeth was born Wednesday! 9lb.6oz. 22"

BRash said...

I secretly heart fast food fish too!

Michelle said...

Ahhh, the joys of being quiet without children ;) Try adding the normal DON'T do that to all the things the same child can't do with a broken arm. Yep, the child who forgets every fifth second that he has a broken arm. Monday? I'm taking the day off work and sending the wee ones to daycare in the am anyway.

misguided mommy said...

sounds perfect...i would have also blasted my adult music

Swistle said...

Nellyru- WOO HOO!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!

Dr. Maureen- It seems like no one would have to KNOW how prompt the OB was. Go off and do something else after the appointment, then come home saying, "I HATE when doctors run so LATE!" (<---not a lie)

Misty said...

I am not sure to say "Oh, I am so sorry!" or "Oh! Congratulations!"

Heh.

Now I have to go click on the link for the ice cream.

Shelly Overlook said...

UTIs are awful! So glad you are on your way to recovery.

I love fast food fish, too! Esp Wendy's b/c the panko makes it so crispy. Mmm...

the mama bird diaries said...

I never knew a UTi could sounds so divine. Glad you're feeling better.

the new girl said...

I KNOW.

I'm actually LOOKING FORWARD to an obligatory family dinner tonight because 1) I don't have to cook/clean it and 2) My sister is bathing and putting my child to bed.

My first night off of night-duty SINCE SHE WAS BORN.

Monique said...

Oh, I so understand! My 10 year old is in a non stop talking phase. My mom took her and her 15 year old sister for two days and I just enjoyed the time with no one talking to me, or forcing me to talk back! I still had a 5 month old, but he's pretty easy at this point. Felt like a vacation!

Jodi said...

I have uhhhh, regular beauty treatments, and I feel too miserable to enjoy my walk around the store while I wait for the prescription.

I am glad you had a fun, child-free, time. :)

Anonymous said...

Ahh yes, don't we identify. I had the flu in the worst way and had to go to the hospital for IV rehydration a few weeks ago, and it was worth the prior pain and suffering to get to lie there in a bed and read magazines in the silence while my dear husband handled the toddler at home. Blissful, even.

Bellamomma said...

When any long, boring, annoying appointment becomes heaven on earth when it can be done alone, in silence with minimal conversation: you are officially a mother.

I'm only two years in on this gig & I like going to the DMV now. Just for the peace and quiet.

Bring A. Torch said...

My quickest, most sincere response was to say "Wow! Way to make lemonade out of a lemon!" And then I thought about it, the lemonade, for about half a second, and cringed most dramatically. Hope you are better soon!

Brooke said...

Nobody puts a silver lining on a UTI like you do, Swistle!

Erin said...

I have had many a UTI, including one kidney infection that landed me in the hospital for three days.

NEVER have I heard something that I KNOW is incredibly painful and annoying be described in such a way as to make me WANT one. Immediately.

Oh, the bliss of reading a book and NOT answering questions. And then the unfettered Target-wandering?

I'm sorry you were sick, but WOW am I jealous that you got all that alone time!

Christina said...

Last night we ran through the drive-thru at Wendy's to get some chili for my bf (I'd already eaten) and I exclaimed to see that they HAD the fish sandwich!

hehe I'd seen it online, but it wasn't at ours - maybe now b/c Lent? Either way - I get the fast food fish excitement. You're not alone.

Amanda said...

DUDE! I have a bumb shoulder and have to go to physical therapy which is a lot of work and painful afterward, but GET THIS, my PT MASSAGES my back and shoulder and doesn't ask for sex after! How amazing is that?

Pathetic the things a mother/wife is happy with!

Astarte said...

I know exactly what you mean!!!! The silence of my mouth is the best thing EVER. Who knew?! Even with the kids in school now, my absolute most restful time of day is when I have to sit in line to get the kids from school. I can't do chores, the dogs aren't barking / running madly through the house, and it's completely my own little space. I bring a book, and sometimes I even go through Starbucks and get a coffee. I sit there, in my own personal climate-controlled environment, and read for ten or fifteen minutes (longer if I finish an errand and have Random Time), and it's Blissful Heaven.

UTIs are the WORST THING. I am SO SORRY you got one!!!!

Fay said...

Temporarily de-lurking for a mild scold (sorry!): Caffeine is not so good for the ole UT. It's an irritant. Says one who is quite prone to the UTI (and has also been hospitalized with a KI a couple of times).

That said, I'm so glad you got out for a beauty treatment! More please!

Cluck and Tweet said...

Oh, good gravy. If I hold the pee I'm holding for too long (from almost going in my pants from laughter) I'll end up having to go for a beauty treatment too. I had a sinus infection last month and at one point (while lying in bed with hot tea, my laptop playing Grey's Anatomy, and a stashed kit kat under the covers) I honestly thought about faking sick once the antibiotics kicked in...just for another day or two:)