I ruined my body having children
My body would have been ruined by age anyway
And then: death.
I found a chin hair. It was a quarter-inch long by the time I found it
As I was looking for more, I saw the beginnings of Neck Crepe
And my nose isn't getting any smaller
And I guess it's time to get a nostril-hair clipper.
I saw an ad that said parentheses didn't belong on my face. Stupid ad.
Is my hairline further back than it used to be?
When I go grey it probably won't be the pretty kind.
I wasted my youth having children.
I wasted my youth not having children.
I wasted my college education
I should have spent the money on something else
Or someone else could have used that education.
All I really took away from it was an "MRS" degree
Well, two MRS degrees
So I guess I wasted one of those, too.
I should have married someone older than me
Instead of the same age
Then I wouldn't look older than him.
Thanks a lot, Mother Nature
You nasty ageist bitch
You're not getting any younger either.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...