I liked all your questions on yesterday's post about possible sixth babies. And I loved all the "I'm a sixth child!"-type comments, even though those get me thinking, "Who WON'T BE BORN if we stop at five?," which goes so quickly to "Who won't be born if we stop at ten?" and "Who won't be born if we wait another month / start a month early?" and all those "trying to think about infinity" brain twists. Ack.
Elizabeth asked: "Did you always know you wanted a lot of kids?" As a child, I had in mind two kids, which is what we had in my family growing up. Then I went through a time of thinking I didn't want any children at all; not coincidentally, this was during my babysitting/nannying years. (People can SAY "It's different when it's your own," but man, it's hard to see how.) Then much later, when Paul and I discussed our future, our decision was to take it one kid at a time and see how it went---but that we'd have four kids unless our experience with one or two or three changed our minds. I don't know why we felt like there was no such situation as "more than four," but that's how we thought of it: as if the options were 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4, and we wanted the maximum allowed.
Erin said, "If I end up with a dozen kids, I will still wonder if maybe thirteen would be nice? Just one more... Just one more..." Oh, Erin, I'm afraid of this! The way I keep wanting more, even when anyone would agree I'd had more than my share! The way I'm not getting tired of this! The way I keep thinking, "What's one more?"
May asked, "What do your parents say about numero seis? Do they know you're thinking about it?" My mom and I have talked about it. I get my "Must...have...more...children!" gene directly from her, so she's all for the idea.
Michelle asked, "Knowing your doctor is that sane, don't you feel better and trust him more with other things, too?" It really did have that effect! And he was so sensible about the whole thing, too: not sugar-coating the risks, and not talking down to me, just telling me what was known at this point about how the risks would apply in my situation. This is one of the OBs in a practice, and this appointment made me think I'd try to see him more often. Especially if.
Astarte asked, "Do you REALLY think you'll stop at 6? Or will #6 breed desire for #7?" My GUESS is that it's going to be a good thing that this whole child-bearing option is a limited time offer. That's my guess.
Moo asks, "What's your motivation? Do you feel you aren't done? Do you just love being pregnant? Do you think your family isn't complete? Do you just love that newborn smell? Can you afford a sixth child? Does it even matter at this point? Will 6 be enough? Do you have the room for another one?" I've thought a lot about WHY I want more, especially since it's not like I'm one of those moms who just lovvvvves playing on the floor with the kids. I've tried on each possible explanation, and the only one that fits is "I just DO." It is such a huge kick to see what kind of person we get each time.
The affording---I'm not sure how to figure that out when there's no visible price tag. The biggest expense for us of going from five children to six would be having to get a bigger vehicle: our minivan seats seven. We do have room in the house for another child: there are three kid bedrooms, and any of them has room vertically for another bed over an existing bed. Bunks = awesome.
Misty asks, "So, what does Paul say about all this?" and Jennifer Playgroupie asks, "Where does Paul have this nugget of information tucked?" Yes, well. Paul. As I said to the OB brightly after the OB and I had discussed everything and decided the way was clear: "Now I just have to talk to my husband!"
It makes me feel weird to say I seriously don't know what he thinks, but I seriously don't. I know he thinks five children is plenty. I also know he's been pleasantly surprised at how well five has been working out (differentness than four = not much). And it isn't as if he wanted to stop at one baby and I pressured him to have more: he's always wanted a bunch of babies. He likes kids. He IS the "enjoys playing on the floor" type.
I've wondered, too, if I would be so set on having another if I didn't feel like I was in "convince Paul" mode. Like, if he were nagging for another baby, would I be saying, "Well, now, hold on a minute here, let's think this through sensibly"?
Slice of Paradise points out, "Honestly, you have 5 ~ would one more really break you?" and Erica asks, "After the forth one, isn't it really a moot point? I mean, what's one more?" That is EXACTLY what I say to Paul! Between five and six, what is the real difference here? Srsly!
...and the duck said has a new contest up.
The Creamery is showing the giftie she got, and starting a new contest.
Bebellyboo is showing the giftie she got and starting a two-winner contest.
Gift ideas for an 8-year-old, part 2 of 2 - Last week I talked about the gifts we were getting/considering for Edward, who is turning 8 next month. This week it’s Elizabeth’s turn: not “girl gifts,” ...