May 11, 2008

Oh. Is it Sunday?

Oh. I guess I should have posted about Mother's Day today, and done the psych clinic tomorrow when we were all about to take our Mother's Day feelings and turn them into inappropriate actions.

Well, how about Mother's Day post ALSO, since one of my presents for Mother's Day is more computer time while Paul watches the children?

Paul always asks me what I want for Mother's Day, which is very wise. I wanted more time by myself; I wanted to make mint brownies (Paul said he'd make them, but I like baking and it's something I miss when I don't do it); and I wanted drawings/cards from the kids (Henry was excused this year on account of smallness).

You might think I'm all sacrificial about not wanting a big gift, but I don't want to have to think of a gift on Father's Day. I want instead to train our children to buy me things later, when they're grown and rich. I read aloud to them from People magazine articles in which rich young singers buy houses and cars and nice cosmetic surgeries for their mamas.

Paul also asked if I wanted him to make tacos for dinner (yes) and if I wanted him to download another episode of that show you guys recommended, Big Bang Theory, which I think he was hoping would have cuter, buffer, cooler guys in it---I mean because there was the strong implication that he resembled those guys.

Rob's card says: "Dear Mom, I hope that you have an awesome Mother's Day and that you know how much it means to me when you do the following things. (A) Buying and cooking food for me (B) Keeping our house cleen (C) Taking care of me when I'm sick and (D) Helping me get ready for school every Day. Happy Mother's Day! Love, Rob".

Ha ha! First of all, "the following things," with a list. Second, the touching obliviousness of a child: Paul does the grocery shopping and almost all the cooking, and since when is our house clean? Oh, wait, he says "cleen."

William's card says: "My mom is special becaus she plays with me. She bakes with me. She goes to store with me."

That does pretty much sum up my life. It's nice of him to refer to that as "special."

Edward brought me three pages of scribbles, and Elizabeth said hers wasn't ready yet so she wouldn't give it to me, but I'm told it says "Uncle Erik" on it (her own idea).

Mint brownies are in the oven.

Here is what I like about Mother's Day: it comes before Father's Day. I think of it, in fact, as a TEMPLATE for Father's Day. Is the father in your household being kind and solicitous today, and taking your various wants into account? Is he making the children behave the same way---ideally far away from you? Did he keep them quiet so you could sleep in? Is he looking at you with affectionate eyes and not letting you do the dishes? Then keep that in mind when it is his turn for a day of appreciation. Is he instead clearly trying to fill the Mother's Day Obligation slot with the minimum required item so he can move on to his usual Sunday schedule of napping and messing around on the computer? Then keep THAT in mind for June.

19 comments:

Jess said...

I like the idea of Mother's Day as a template for Father's Day. On the other hand, if Father's Day came first, maybe the dad would use THAT as a template for Mother's Day? Thus making him less likely to ignore Mother's Day entirely? Or do we think most dads are too oblivious for that? I am torn.

Mairzy said...

Your Mother's Day sounds pretty much perfect! I love the cards. Especially "Uncle Erik." Yay Paul!

I'm almost aggressively unenthusiastic about Mother's Day. I've told August over and over that I don't want him to buy me flowers and gifts because I Am Not His Mother. The girls at church had my kids make cards for me, which I liked much better.

But August always gets past my principles anyway: this time he had a roast in the crock pot and bread in the bread maker, so it was all ready when we got home from church. I thoroughly enjoyed having lunch done for me... I mean, I had to be civil. :)

Mairzy said...

Note: August would like me to clarify that HE was at church WITH me, not sitting at home playing the computer and occasionally checking on the bread machine until I stumbled through the door with three grouchy kids.

fairydogmother said...

Mother's Day is one of two days a year in our family where my dad has always done the dishes. The other day is Christmas, when he cooks breakfast AND does the dishes. These traditions persist even though there are technically no children living in their house any longer.

Unfortunately neither my brother or I have become rich yet, so our poor mother is still waiting for lavish presents.

Melissa H said...

Yes, hubby is acting perfectly lovely and I did sleep in. Unfortunately I am very grumpy but trying to show restraint (see: psych clinic).

I am also feeling very grateful for not being married to my brother in law who bought a BRAND NEW CORVETTE yesterday WITHOUT first consulting his wife and three young daughters. I, personally, would be ready to KILL him. My sister in law is more restrained.

Anonymous said...

Word to the corvette-buying-husband-killing! There is no excuse for irrational independent behaviour like that in a marriage.
Re: Mother's Day, it is difficult because we both have mothers that want to be visited/gifted etc. It is not really "my" day at all, although DH did buy a card for me from the baby, and let me have a little nap while he watched the baby. Small mercies!

Kristin.... said...

This was really the first Mother's Day that I've really enjoyed, other than my very first Mother's Day (because of course it was my first and I was all about a day just for me). The kids made me breakfast in bed; I got a lovely book to read and a couple of other items. We visited my mom and I gave her the annual hanging plant for her yard; she in turn gave me some plants for my yard, including ones she dug up ON THE SPOT for me to take home and plant (I love shopping at mom's!) and I got them all planted today. I still changed diapers and did laundry, but for some reason, maybe due to the nice weather, I wasn't so darn stressed about it all. hmmm.

JMC said...

My husband is not the best as far as taking over the kids and giving me a break, but he did get me what I wanted (other than the sleeping in thing - I NEVER get that), which was a gift card to Cosi, so I could go pick up a salad every once in a while for lunch, put the baby down for a nap and sit down to a relaxing lunch with a good book and no interruptions. I did fool around in the backyard with the three older kids and the camera today. I'll be posting some interesting pictures tomorrow.

Karly said...

I use Mother's Day as a template as well. Last year Father's Day SUCKED, because my husband had the nerve to reply to my request for him to wake up with the kids on Mother's Day instead of me with "You aren't MY mother." I really didn't even acknowledge father's day other than to remind the kids about it. The bastard.

This year he has wised up a bit and is getting me the new cell phone I want.

Missy said...

More computer time sounds like the ultimate present. I love it. And those cards are adorable.

Happy Mothers Day!

(Now I really want some mint brownies.)

Meegan said...

My hubby let me sleep in until I woke up on my own at 7:30 (after he asked me to wake with the babe at 5:30am and I gently reminded him that it IS Mother's Day, ahem). He made pancakes that were delicious. (I cleaned the kitchen.) He played with the little person a LOT, which allowed me to bake cookies with my NEW, SUPER FANTASTIC stand-up mixer. I might be the only one, but I like getting a gift for Mother's Day and I like giving them for Father's Day. I think it's nice to be appreciated for BEING a mother, by my daughter's father, my husband. It's tough business, staying at home with a baby, being pregnant, having a husband that travels. So if my husband wants to give me a gift for Mother's Day, I say, let him!

Nellyru said...

I had to get up with the hungry, chatty toddler this morning AND make my own damn coffee before my husband seemed to suddenly remember it was mother's day. At which point he came tearing into the kitchen, grabbing at the coffee maker, saying "I'll do that!"
Unfortunately, our anniversary was ALSO this weekend and he had already been extravagant with his gift choice this year...so I felt obligated to NOT be grumpy about making my own coffee. But he can make HIS own coffee in June.

Jenni said...

Every Mother's Day and birthday I ask for the same 3 things:

An extra few hours sleep (preferably a nap, not sleeping in which never works for me)

A clean house that I didn't clean

A meal I didn't cook

If I get all 3 of those, I can go another 6 months!

Daria said...

How do you get your husbands to do any of that? I want in on all the sleeping in action! My DH woke up at 10:30am and took our oldest to the circus, after eating the breakfast i cooked because I was up at 5am anyway. While they were at the circus I cleaned my house while entertaining a baby. Yet I am so happy he took V out and then ekpt him outside for a few more hours while planting two trees. It is impossible to clean with two kids underfoot. I think I will go all out on father's day and get him a gift because all of the other stuff he gets on a daily basis. Swistle when do they start sleeping in on weekends?
Love,
D

Swistle said...

Daria- My third grader sometimes sleeps in until we have to wake him up---but not always: this weekend he was up at 6:30 with the little kids. Sigh. As I understand it, kids drive their parents crazy by getting up too early, until they drive them crazy by sleeping too late.

Sam said...

Jenni, I second you on that. Those sound like the perfect gifts.
When will husbands realize that it's the 'little things' in life that matter most?

Happy Mother's Day All!

Maggie said...

My husband got laid off just a couple of weeks ago and we are conserving money, so he couldn't buy me a gift. Which turned out to be the best thing ever because instead of getting a gift that was probably lovely, but totally unneeded, he made breakfast and dinner and cleaned the kitchen and entertained my son for most of the day so I got to take a nap, read my book, and surf the computer. Best Mother's Day ever!

desperate housewife said...

Our anniversary is the fifteenth, so in the past it has tended to get smooshed in there with Mother's Day, meaning both things get less of a big deal made of them than I would prefer. This year, husband has magically gotten the hint, and made me TWO cards, one from him and one from the kids, both with POEMS in them written himself, got me a gift card to go shopping for a new bathing suit, which I had been randomly talking about but HAD NOT specifically requested. And a gift card for a massage. AND he made breakfast! Lots of points.
Then for the anniversary this weekend he arranged for his mom to keep the kids overnight so we can go out of town together for the first time, well, EVER, without the kids. Hmm... It almost has me wondering if he did something BAD that he's feeling guilty about? 'Cause otherwise, WOW.

Alice said...

omg i LOVE that card from rob! my friend/boss got one from her 11ish year old son that was similar - listed all the ways she was a great mom ("you take me to all my football practices") then ended with "i don't know how you put up with us all." it was hilarious :-)