April 13, 2008

Siblings

One thing I found impossible to imagine when I had a toddler and a newborn and was melting with despair because I wanted more children but didn't see how I could POSSIBLY manage more when I was ALREADY at MAX CAPACITY for this crap----one thing I found impossible to imagine, as I say, was that the toddler and newborn would be OLDER than the new siblings. I was imagining adding MORE OF THE SAME, daycare-style.

This morning I was already up to HERE with Henry's angry fussing and it was only 7:45 in the morning. I was mashing him a banana and I wasn't even engaging with him anymore because I was discouraged and also kind of crabby with him for being crabby so much recently.

And then Rob came in and said to Henry, "Oh! Are you SAD? Oh, no! Why?" Then he said to me, "Have you seen an ORANGE BALL around here?" I said I didn't think so. He elaborated, showing me the ball's approximate size and describing more accurately the shade of orange ("bright"). I again said I didn't think so, and asked (a little impatiently, if truth must be told, but I don't see why we need the WHOLE truth) why we were looking for this ball. He said, "It's Henry's FAVORITE." I suggested it might be in the playroom and he went rocketing off, coming back with the ball. "HERE you go, Henry! Here's your BALL! Your FAVORITE ball!"

Then Elizabeth came in, and because we once told her to go sing the ABC song to a crying Henry, she thinks that's what she should do EVERY time, so she launched into a vigorous rendition, really DELIVERING that song, ballpark-style.

Then Rob said, "Oh, no WONDER! Your NOSE is running!" and went rocketing off again to get a kleenex, which he used to wipe Henry's nose.

Then William came bouncing in to tell me that Edward was getting into trouble in the living room, and on his way out he offered Henry a bite of his cereal.

Hm. Reading this over, I see a story of CHAOS, not of happy and helpful sibling relationships. You will have to trust me: this is a reassuring story about happy and helpful sibling relationships.








48 comments:

Leeann said...

Aw, I found this honest and completely touching. Kids are hard sometimes but really, they totally ROCK!

Leeann
niccofive.blogspot.com

AndreAnna said...

Still makes me want to take a nap. ;)

Raven said...

It sounds very helpful!

jen said...

That picture of henry and edward is too sweet, and the last one just cracks me up!

This is why I tell people that it's easier w/more than one kid. Because they will always do those things, and the baby is way more receptive to them, than he would be if *I* was doing those things. And with more than one kid, I don't HAVE to do those things hahahaaaaaa

And I had a comment that worded that all so much better, but blogger ate it. Maybe you got it in email anyway and are laughing at me.

Omaha Mama said...

They seem happy and helpful to me.
That is a whole lot of cute you've got going on over there!

Someone Being Me said...

I love it. I have a hard time thinking about handling more than 1 but I know I want 2-3. I don't know how you do it. The pictures are so sweet.

Emily said...

I loved this post. It didn't sound like chaos to me-just family.

Kristin.... said...

Your post gives me HOPE that my two older children will indeed learn that babies are for having fun with, not for sitting ON. :)

samantha jo campen said...

Oh no, I TOTALLY got the sibling relationship part. No chaos at all.

What a wonderful thing you get to experience.

Would your children like to come over and entertain Theo when HE'S fussing? Please and thank you.

caley said...

What sweet brothers and sister! They have given me some hope that the Hell Dimension will pass and lead to brighter (albeit more chaotic) days.

JMC said...

Wanna trade? Mine are all bickering today.

Stimey said...

I completely agree. My three totally keep each other busy, and I love how they help each other out.

Those photos are amazing.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Sweet!

Chaotic and sweet.

Marie Green said...

Henry is getting so big! I want hime to still be a tiny, tiny, baby.

My older two ARE helpful with our "baby", but sometimes that quickly turns sour, like when she's fussing in the high chair, and I'm scrambling to get her some food and they ask her "Are you all done? Do you want down?" and I want her to eat, but they've talked her into playing and *sigh*...

We are still mastering the art of "helpful", is what I'm saying.

Mimi said...

Oh I love this post, Swistle. It makes me want to have several more children too. The pictures are so sweet... what a cute bunch of blondies you have!

Bunny said...

Alright, you've convinced me. I'll have my third. You totally and accurately put into words how I've been feeling about whether or not to have a third: it seems like adding more of the same daycare-style. But, you are right, it is not the same, and when I look at the relationship my two have, there is no reason not to have another!

mn said...

that is the sweets. my six yr old saw the pictures and said if i had a baby (sibling) i would take care of it like them (as in the kids in your pictures) he loves babies.
i see all the time, kids reacting and playing with babies in grocery carts, at the mall, helping to engage them and take care of them and it just warms my heart.
good for the. thanks for sharing.

the new girl said...

Oh, come ON with the cuteness! I can't take it. I LOVE the picture of all of the kids playing in a little circle.

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

I've been trudging along feeling absolutely burnt out, and wondering if I was going to have to draw the line at three children despite wanting more... and then I saw that wonderful shot of all your kids playing together and thought, "That's what I want in my house!" Not that they're always like that, but it seems worth the headaches for the moments you described in words and in pictures. Thanks.

-- Mairzy

raisingtheboys said...

Oh my God these pictures made me cry and yearn to untie my tubes. I know how much I like when my older makes any kind of generous (you know, generous for a 3yr old is replacing a toy that he just stole) gesture to the younger.

Dr. Maureen said...

I definitely was reassured.

JK said...

Tell me what a morning without chaos is? Heh. I loved your post. My oldest can ALWAYS cheer up the baby. Sometimes it gets rather noisy as she does, but it is a thing of beauty. If I were 5 years younger I could see having one more... But I'm old and tired and it's all I can do to keep up with 3. :-)

Misty said...

That is AWESOME.

Also. Not to detract from the awesomeness, (because I really love this post and think it is great!) but do they ever fight?

Stacie said...

That sounds so incredibly sweet. I love it when my two take care of each other. It's just so awesome to see their relationship and how much they love each other.

Swistle said...

Misty- OH YES. LOTS. But they're not "a bunch of toddlers and infants" like I was imagining.

Farrell said...

Actually, I just posted and ended with, "Seriously how DO people have more than one kid?" and then I read this and I thought, "Oh yeah! that's why!" :)

Julie said...

Sounds sooooo busy at your house but the good kind of busy! Those pictures are great...

Kristi said...

That is awesome! Makes me want to have more (I think I may need a lobotomy first, but that's neither here nor there).

I LOVE your new tagline.

Jenni said...

That's it! It's so much easier having 6,4,3 year olds and a baby than it was having a 19month old and a newborn. Way easier!

Annie said...

Awww. This is not helping to turn my WANTBABY switch off.

Tessie said...

OH!! AHH!!

I love your kids. SO. MUCH. SO EFFING MUCH. Even had to use pseudo-cussword there. That's how much.

Great PICTURES too! So awesome.

d e v a n said...

I did not read CHAOS. I read HOPE! The pictures then sealed it for me.
Thank you.

LoriD said...

Your kids are so cute together. I read it as reassuring, not chaotic.

My guys are the same. While it often seems chaotic, it's just awesome when they all play together, or when the "big" guys tend to the baby.

nicole said...

You just summed up a day around here too. It is chaotic, but a good kind of chaotic most of the time. And Henry is criminally cute.

Cass said...

I don't know if it's possible to ovulate while pregnant but this post made me want to make lots of loving siblings for this baby girl.

Mommy Daisy said...

I totally hear what you're saying. I keep trying to explain this concept to my husband when talking him into having more (and more and more) kids. I tell him they start to help each other as they get older.

Your children are so beautiful!

"Constance-1-M" said...

I see you quietly whispering to my ovaries to get over their lazyness and work already.

Don't think I don't hear you "squeeeee"ing all the way in my apartment.

I know you posted those pics just to torture me with thoughts of multiple children playing happily together.

Ok maybe it worked. Just a little. Maybe I could consider this whole "more kids" idea.

Maybe.

And the big kids with the baby kid ... that's just torture woman!! LOL

Alias Mother said...

This post? This post right here? With that story and those pictures? Is why I can't imagine having only one child.

Don Mills Diva said...

Aww - great argument in favor of at least 5 kids...:-)

You have a gorgeous family!

saly said...

OMG, these adorable happy children and your words made me cry yesterday. Well done!!

Jeninacide said...

Aww they really are so cute!!

Amy said...

Oh, how cute! I love the photos. Your children sound delightful, even though I'm sure they have their days, like everyone else.

drowninginlaundry said...

I do adore the organized chaos of all your children. So darn cute. And seriously? Couldn't you just eat Henry?

Opus #6 said...

Your family pics are so sweet. Sounds like they all had the beginnings of a cold and Henry was crying because of the sore throat.

Nowheymama said...

And this is why I find three easier than two or one.

Great photos!

The Gori Wife said...

I've used this post many, many times since I first read it to reassured soon-to-be-second time mommies, and I still love it today! If you see someone google-ing "Swistle second baby siblings not that bad" or the like, you should know that it's probably me again!

Swistle said...

TGW, how FUN! I had forgotten about this post but came back and read it again because of your comment, and it's so weird to see my kids looking so much younger!

Dr. Maureen said...

Swistle, how could you forget about this post? This post is all I have to hang onto sometimes! You should add it to your "For easy reference" links, because I reference it frequently.