10:30 p.m.-- Swistle goes to bed and lies awake thinking about something totally stupid.
11:00 p.m.-- Still thinking. And now also thinking about how many minutes this has wasted.
11:20 p.m.-- Drifts off to fantasy of winning a $1,000 gift card to Target.
11:30 p.m.-- Elizabeth wakes up crying. Swistle goes and gets her and brings her back to Swistle's room, then lies awake again thinking with increasing anxiety about how she would get the kids out of the house if there was a fire.
11:40 p.m.-- Swistle gets kicked in the neck by a toddler who wants to lie sideways with her head on Daddy's pillow.
12:15 a.m.-- Drifts off.
12:30 a.m.-- Henry calls for service from the 24-hour cafeteria. He would like a refill on his bottomless cup of milk, purchased 9 months ago.
1:00 a.m.-- Back to bed. NO THINKING. GO TO SLEEP. STOP THINKING. Swistle falls asleep and dreams about a gentle, pleasant canoe ride. A canoe ride that cruises past a giant, half-submerged, tipped-over, dark-metal boat.
1:45 a.m.-- Swistle is actually grateful to be awakened by the sound of a nearby toddler about to barf, and before reaching full consciousness is already halfway to the bathroom with the toddler, who throws up mostly into the sink, greatly reducing barf clean-up time.
2:05 a.m.-- Back to bed, with toddler on towel. Swistle lies awake wondering if this means the whole family is going to start barfing. Is she imagining it, or does her tummy feel a little queasy?
2:25 a.m.-- Drifts off. Dreams about elevators, and about missing the bus.
5:28 a.m.-- Paul's alarm goes off. Swistle thinks, "Oh, thank goodness I can sleep for another 37 minutes."
5:29 a.m.-- Henry wakes up yelling.
5:35 a.m.-- Edward calls, "My get up too?"
6:05 a.m.-- Careful not to move her sore neck too much, Swistle puts the coffee on.
6:30 a.m.-- Swistle realizes the coffee maker will not work when it is not plugged in.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...