- Entire family wakes up within 3 minutes of each other.
- Swistle nurses Henry.
- Paul checks his email, then sits on the couch with the children.
- Twins gradually leak through their diapers, which is what happens if they aren't changed immediately after awakening. But how many times can Swistle tell Paul about this, considering she has told him so many times already? It is getting embarrassing. She will just change the twins herself after she finishes nursing Henry. After all, that is what she would do on a weekday if Paul were at work. It's just a little extra laundry, no big deal. Besides, it's good that he's spending time with the kids.
- Henry finishes nursing.
- Swistle stands up.
- Paul stands up. Paul says, "Well! Guess I'll take a shower!"
- It would make a lot more sense if Paul would shower while the baby was nursing, since then he'd be all ready now and Swistle could get in the shower. Swistle could have said something about this earlier, but Swistle has explained this so many times. How can she explain it without Paul feeling like she thinks he's the village idiot? It would also make sense for Swistle to shower now while Paul handles some morning chores, but Paul is always so crabby if he tries to do things before he showers, so she will just let it go.
- Paul showers.
- Swistle feeds the four non-nursing children breakfast.
- Swistle takes out the trash, into which Paul has dumped something rotten. She should leave it for him to take out, but he would take it out exactly as is: a whole bag, 7/8ths empty, tied up and tossed out the door. Swistle has the super-human intelligence required to realize it's more efficient to add the contents of other trash cans to the bag, especially trash cans that will need to be emptied today anyway, such as the diaper pail which perpetually needs emptying, even more so when Paul doesn't roll up the stinky diapers before dropping them in there. Swistle remembers that stupid "baby-and-me" class instructor who told one mother that she should be sure to praise her husband for changing his own child's diapers, and to be grateful he even does it. Are the fathers receiving similar instructions about praising their wives, and are we all to be so very grateful that the mothers are willing to change diapers? Please.
- Swistle packs the diaper bags for errands.
- Paul is still taking a shower. Swistle and her mom are leaving to go on errands soon, so this is not a good time for one of these long, luxurious showers. But Swistle has mentioned this so many Sundays in a row! How can she mention it again without it sounded like boring naggy wife? She will just have to take a short shower to make up the time.
- Swistle unloads the dish rack.
- Swistle gets a load of laundry out of the dryer and folds it and puts it away.
- Swistle gets Edward changed and dressed.
- Swistle gets Henry changed and dressed.
- Swistle tells Rob and William to clear their dishes and sends them to get dressed.
- Swistle builds a sailing vessel, discovers the New World, settles it, harvests a crop of corn, and returns home with a boatload of gold and spices.
- Paul gets out of the shower.
- Paul starts to get dressed. He starts sighing at the children because they're "not letting him get DRESSED!" (They're following him and asking him questions.) His tone implies to Swistle that he thinks Swistle should be keeping the children away from him, but it is hard to know which things Swistle is "picking up on" and which things Swistle is "totally imagining."
- Paul takes Elizabeth downstairs to get her dressed. (Later Swistle will discover that Elizabeth has (1) uncombed hair, (2) no shoes, and (3) a short-sleeved shirt in November.) Having Paul downstairs makes it tricky for Swistle to take a shower, because she'd have to leave Edward unattended and Edward is the kind of toddler who dumps a box of cereal onto the carpet and sits there eating some and grinding the rest under his feet. Swistle tells Rob to watch Edward.
- Swistle heads for the shower. She first has to remove Paul's book, which has been left hanging on the shower bar. Why do they have to have the same "consideration for others" conversation so many times, particularly about taking unnecessarily long showers (READING in the shower, for god's sake) when Swistle has to be somewhere, not to mention how it means the woman he supposedly loves more than any other in the whole world ends up with tepid water? If she explains this AGAIN, she will sound as if she thinks Paul is a child, not a grown man who can understand things and remember them later. And probably he doesn't love her, either, since he doesn't care if she gets enough hot water.
- Henry fusses. Paul doesn't seem to notice. The fussing makes it difficult for Swistle not to feel tense and rushed, and also as if nothing gets done unless she does it.
- Swistle is drying off and putting up her hair, and she can hear that Paul is impatient with the children already. How can that be, when he has NOTHING TO DO? Swistle makes an unpleasant expression and wears away a little more of her tooth enamel.
- Paul asks what still needs to be done. He seems to expect to be praised for realizing that things need to be done in the mornings. Does he not realize that 1 hour and 35 minutes of work have already taken place?
- Swistle replies that all that is left to do is nursing the baby, and doing last-minute diaper checks, and putting on coats, and none of that can be done right now except the nursing, and would Paul like to do that?
- Swistle should leave it at that, but she cannot. Instead she explains to Paul again how it works best if they MESH their routines for maximum efficiency and fairness. That is, instead of Swistle working while Paul gazes into space, and then Paul doing something for himself while Swistle works, and then Swistle working while Paul does something else for himself, and then Paul asking what work still needs to be done when it's all been done, it works best if Paul works too, in a way compatible with Swistle's work. Yes, Swistle CAN do it all herself, since she DOES do so on weekdays, but the agreement was that when they are BOTH home they SPLIT the work, since otherwise Paul has a weekend and Swistle does not.
- Paul agrees. Yes, he remembers this. But he says, what was he supposed to do? He only just now finished getting ready, and everything's done!
- Swistle goes to Target and spends a lot of money.