With not quite four days done, and more than three days remaining, I am beginning to lose my joie de vivre. The mother-in-law visit is not horrible. But I am counting days.
Tuesday night I had a bad dream that my mother-in-law was visiting. Then I woke up, and I thought, "Whew." Then, "OH NO!!!"
She is getting gradually worse with each day, as usual. Yesterday evening, she told two little anecdotes about pregnancy weight--both after looking at me consideringly. One was asking me if I'd heard Barbara Bush's story about how she gained 60 pounds during pregnancy and unfortunately the baby didn't weigh sixty pounds. Second: "I know why your cat is so fat! She never lost her pregnancy weight!"
She's made several negative remarks about Rob's overbite. Opening sally was "What are you going to do about Robert's teeth?" in the demanding tone of voice a manager might use with an underling who had committed a grave error and was being asked how she was going to fix it. Another day: "Whoooh! Robert's TEETH! My GOODNESS!" Later she said to me, "So Robert gets his teeth from you, I guess?" I wasn't sure what she meant, and I said, "Paul had braces too, right?" She said, "Oh! Yes! But not for anything like THAT! My word!"
She said, "Who drinks HEINEKEN??" the way you might ask, "Who hired this HOOKER??" When I said we kept it for my dad when he was working on the house, she said, "Whoooh! Because I knew PAUL didn't drink it! Har har!" So I guess she assumed it was mine. As if there'd be anything wrong with that. And since Paul hasn't lived with her since pre-drinking age, I can't imagine why she thinks she knows anything at all about it.
She is wearing her coat inside. She keeps saying she should have brought her winter jacket but hadn't realized she'd need it.
We went to Wa1mart and she said she needed to buy antacid. She said she usually doesn't need it at home, but when she eats "so late" she has trouble. We've had dinner twice at 5:30, once at 5:45.
She asked Henry if he is getting spoiled. She asked him, "Oh, is the WHOLE WORLD not paying attention to you?"--when he fussed lightly after an hour of silence in his bouncy seat. She's informed him loudly that his socks were falling off. She asked him if his mother was going to change his diaper in the living room in front of everybody.
Last night she was silent when William mentioned he was out of pull-ups (he wears them to bed). Today she told a story of some CRAZY mother she knew whose child still wasn't fully potty-trained at age four. IF YOU CAN IMAGINE IT.
She was watching me help Rob with his homework. Rob is learning cursive. He and I had to work for awhile on his lowercase B, which he was doing like a lowercase L followed by a lowercase R. Later, my mother-in-law said to me, "Swistle, I heard you telling Rob about his cursive B earlier." I said, "Mm?" She said, "I see YOUR B looks like an H with a line through it!" Merry laughter. Oh, I see: clearly it was ridiculous, then, for me to correct Rob.
I told William to come outside to get his hair cut (I do his with clippers). My mother-in-law called out immediately, "Robert could use one too." Oh yes? Should he also get a real job? Also, perhaps she could notice that he does not have 2 years' hair growth; therefore, we are managing to get his hair cut even when she is not here to tell us he needs one.
She's been telling the kids what to do, and then criticizing the way they do it. She says to us, "They're getting pretty GOOFY," in a hard, disapproving tone. Yesterday at the store she said exasperatedly, "You need a whole grown-up just to take care of Edward!" I'm trying to breathe deeply and remember that this probably will not cover them in emotional scars. She's an old bat, and it's good for children to learn of the existence of old bats.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...