September 27, 2007

This is the Post I Should Have Titled "Self-Medicating"

I'm up at 4:00 a.m., which is SO SMART. Elizabeth woke me, and then I couldn't go back to sleep. I tried for more than half an hour, and I just got more and more wakeful. I'm thinking about stuff.

I'm thinking about my weight, which went down 5 pounds right after I stopped taking the mini-pill, but then stayed where it was. And then started creeping up little by little again. I'm getting that "this isn't my body" feeling--like I'm ENCASED in my body. That's usually my cue to take action.

And I'm thinking about diets, which are stupid and only work short-term. And about "lifestyle changes," which are also diets. And about how there should probably be an actual lifestyle change around here, NOT (*maudlin tone*) "so I can live to see my kids grow up" (it's relatively uncommon to die in one's thirties for being overweight) but because my food intake has gotten pretty crappy and it's causing me to envision the kind of clogged pipes they show on plumbing and cholesterol-reduction commercials. BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE I WANT TO BE THINNER AND LOOK PRETTIER. I don't really care about my health here, though of course that will help to motivate me when I am frantically scraping to remember why I am not eating something I want to eat. If I were eating crap but I were still THIN, we would not be having this talk right now. Possibly we are not having this talk anyway. Possibly when morning light hits, I will think this is a dumb idea. It's so easy to strike out on a new diet when I'm not feeling hungry.

And I'm thinking about Zoloft, which I'm on the fence about: on one hand, I feel like I Need Something. On the other hand, breastfeeding! and the accompanying worrying about future scientific studies that will make me regret current decisions! And also, I'm not sure I want to start taking a longer-term medication for what I think may be a short-term issue centering on my mother-in-law's upcoming visit.

And I'm thinking about exercise, which is disappointing me results-wise. My heart and lungs might be getting all awesome and fit, but I'm not noticing exterior improvements. I want EXTERIOR IMPROVEMENTS. I have exercised faithfully three times a week for two months, and I haven't had a single less-than-three-times week: I sometimes whine about skipping a session because I'm too mad/sad, but I always make up the session the next day. And yet all I am doing is getting bigger.

So that's me, at what is now 5:00 in the morning: Weight. Diets. Zoloft. Exercise. Hm, I wonder why I'm not dropping off into dreamyland? My theory is that I'm self-medicating my mother-in-law/new-baby stress with food (how FASCINATING and DIFFERENT), and that I'm doing it too much for the exercise to keep up. I think the food HAS been helping, but since it's also hurting, it's time to try something else.

I'm about to launch into a discussion about the "something else" I'm doing, and it's something I don't recommend. I have an old bottle of Zoloft in my underwear drawer, and I'm going to start taking it. I think this is a TERRIBLE idea! You should ALWAYS have medical supervision for medication. ESPECIALLY if you're pregnant or breastfeeding and the bottle has a sticker on it that says "Do not take if pregnant or breastfeeding." And especially with PSYCHIATRIC medication, where the effects on your health and mental states should be monitored so you don't flip the hell out. And if the medication is also EXPIRED, you are a CRAZY PERSON if you take it.

BUT. I've taken this before. If anything, it had too LITTLE an effect on me, and it didn't affect my health. And right now, my plan is to take it until my mother-in-law's visit is over, and then stop. I thought I was coping pretty well with life in general; then we got close to her visit and I started melting down.

The bottle contains 100 mg tablets. I remember that when I went on it before, the doctor started me at 25 mg for a week, and then went to 50 mg. So last night I bit off one-half of a half tablet. I'm going to do that for four days and then go up to 50 mg. I have enough to last me until the end of October, when I will carefully go back down to 25 mg daily, then 25 mg every other day, then 25 mg every third day--because going off Zoloft last time made life temporarily lose its color, and it helps to KNOW that that will happen, but it also helps to wean slowly.

Maybe I will chicken out in the next day or two. Maybe I will call the doctor after all, and spend a $20 co-pay for him to try to talk me into counseling. We'll see. I mean, if YOU said YOU were going to do this, I'd be all up in your comments section saying, "Oh, hey, I don't know about this. I think it would be better to call the doctor. I mean, that Zoloft is older than the twins--it might not even WORK."

Also, I am going to eat a little better. I don't even want to say words like "diet," because my brain hears "diet" and my brain says "HUNGRY." But I want to be thinner, and dieting is the way to do it.

If that doesn't suck the happy out of the room, I don't know what does.

Edited to add: I should have said specifically that I welcome your input and insight. I know how it is to be reading a post thinking, "Is she just venting here and my advice would get called 'assvice' and be all irritating? or is she looking for feedback?" You may proceed with feedback! Personal experience, insight from a distance, whatever.

44 comments:

Bunny said...

Swistle, honey, I want to give you a big big hug and then eat a pan of brownies with you, or maybe sensibly suggest we go for a walk. I have been up at 4:30/5 every morning for almost a month now. I hate the way I eat, I hate the way I don't excercise and I hate the way I feel bad about it. I haven't even found the time to finish reading the new Bob Greene book, let alone actually DO anything. So, I guess, I ;m saying you are not alone and if I had Zoloft in the medicine cabinet I would probably take it to.
But because I am a caring friend, I would have to say that maybe you could suck it up with the $20 copay and see if there is something else the doctor could prescribe that he knows is safe for Henry.
So, anyway, good morning, I'm up early, too!

Krissy said...

So sorry you are feeling overwhelmed right now. The whole eating-scale-tortured emotions thing rots. I hear ya! And I really am sorry that you MIL causes you so much grief before she even arrives. I can't imagine what her visits must be like.

Jess said...

I don't know much about Zoloft, but this sounds like maybe not quite the best path to be going down. I agree with Bunny that it is worth the $20 co-pay to talk to your doctor and see if there's another solution.

Also, on the diet/lifestyle thing--I have tried SO MANY diets over the years, and WW is the only one that works, because while it is a diet, it's really a lifestyle thing, and it's not about deprivation, and it is about sustainability. And also, I feel much better and more energetic and more able to cope with problems since I started eating healthy. And I don't eat TOTALLY healthy--sometimes I blow my points on things like brownies. And that's okay--WW allows that sort of thing, which is part of why it's so sustainable.

g~ said...

I know how you feel in terms of exercising faithfully and not seeing any results. Although, honestly, while the scales haven't gone down, I can *feel* the changes in my body--my pants fitting better, a muscle popping out, etc. Sometimes, this isn't enough and I would like to drop 20 pounds as easily as others seem to. But, I know I'll regret not sticking to it because I know there's a difference there, even if I don't feel like there is one.
Doing only aerobic exercise doesn't do it for me. I *Have* to do some sort of weight lifting (even! just a little! and I notice!) because it increases my metabolism. I am only suggesting because I know what it's like to be at the end of your rope with weight.
Right there with you, sister.

AndreAnna said...

I really feel overwhelmed FOR you. I could. not. imagine dealing with five kids, a house, your body issues, and THEN a visit from Nutso McFruitcake.

I think if you think you need something, then you should definitely take it. However, I also agree with bunny that it may be well worth the money and visit to see/talk to your doctor.

As far as diet/exercise go, maybe you just haven't found the right combination that works for you. it is so frustrating to work out and not see any differences, even though you know you're doing something good for your body. I would suggest a personal trainer at a gym a few days a week, but I'd be an ass because you have five kids and time is precious.

I do wish you luck with this visit and at least you know you have at least 50 strangers who care enough to see how you are every day and who are rooting you through it all with their words. Hang in there. Really. :)

Black Sheeped said...

Because you have lovingly given me doctor advice before, fraught with exclamation points, if I remember correctly, I feel that I can gently say in a tiny voic, hey, Swistle! Maybe...call your doctor on this one. Maybe. Annnnd...if he recommends counseling, what could be the harm? I mean, someone is being paid to sit there and listen to you vent. And that can be a beautiful thing. I'd be tempted to take it, too, but...maybe the doc would have a suggestion for something else, like bunny said.

Don't hate me! I love you! I understand the temptation! I just think a co-pay might be worth it right now, for your peace of mind.

JMC said...

If it was just me, I'd take the Zoloft. Based on the fact that you've used it before and all. And because I'm a risk-taker in that 'I shouldn't but I know it won't hurt me' not really risk-taking kind of way. BUT with the breastfeeding, I'd call the doctor.

CakeHead said...

OK, so you want to know a secret? For me, I need to exercise more than three times a week to see visible improvement in the current decade. I think the three times a week thing is for health, doing it more is for image AND health. And I am so with you on the diet thing. I don't do them. Never have, never will. OK, well I cant say never; I think I tried to starve myself (20 g of fat per day and 500 calories) when I was 19. That was the last time I ever did it. And I was already thin. And apparently pretty stupid too.

So sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. I'm not going to say anything about the Zoloft except that I think you'll do the right thing (I'm good at reading between the lines).

Marie Green said...

I think OB are so trained in "PPD" that if you called yours, you could probably get a brand-spanking NEW prescription for Zoloft. Or some other drug. Also, would it help you feel better about Henry if you called lactation? They will look up the drug in their super-fabulous book and tell you what they think. (I've found they are MUCH more thorough than Dr.'s on this kind of thing.)

I know that if I had another baby, then called my OB a few months later and said "I think I need something, like last time", he would prescribe w/o seeing me in the office.

Just saying.

I hear you on the exercising and eating thing. My husband does not have ANY emotional attachments to food, and how he accomplishes this??? I have NO idea.

Keep exercising. Hang in there. Thanks for blogging about this!

Mommy Daisy said...

Swistle, you're great. Here you are blogging about things that all of us have dealt with from time to time. It's like a big hug of normalcy to all of us dear readers. We're women (I'm guessing most of us are)...we understand.

I like the suggestion about seeing an OB about a prescription, and then also calling a lactation consultant. It might help. Even for peace of mind about taking something. (I'm terribly skiddish about taking meds. I don't know why, but my headache has to be killer before I'll even take two Tylenol.)

Eating for new baby stress describes a little of how I gained my weight back. (I'm one of those strange people who lost weight during pregnancy.) I was thinner than I'd been in years after giving birth, but within 3 months I was back to my starting weight. Grr. I have issues with dieting, and I understand what you're saying about just needing to eat better without calling it anything. I've been doing that. Even if I just eat more vegetables that day. It makes me a little more full, so I will skip a litte junk food.

I agree with adding some sort of weight exercise a few times a week. That could help with that.

OK, look at me. I didn't want to offer any silly advice, but I did it anyway. Read it or disregard it, it really doesn't matter. Just felt like commenting I guess.

Sara said...

How is it that you feel exactly how I feel? I mean exactly. On my way in to work today I was thinking about how I only feel happy about 50% of the time, and a lot of it has to do with weight and stress and general crapola.

I don’t think I can offer up any good advice, but I can say this……you are not alone. At all. The comments prove it. Maybe together (channeling Gloria Gaynor here) we can somehow all survive. :)

Mrs. M said...

Say there Swistle--why don't you let your MIL stay at the house and YOU go shack up at a fancy hotel while she watches tames the kiddos!

I'm sorry she makes you so antsy and that your're feeling nasty. If it's any consolation, I've worn nothing but dresses for two weeks because none of my pants fit. Oops!

Devan said...

First of all, way to go for sticking with the exercising. If I don't see immediate results, I give up pretty quickly. You have done awesome.
Food may be a safer self-medication than the zoloft. I'm just saying...

Devan said...

(only because it's expired, not because it's unsafe. :) )

Guwi said...

I'm going to have to jump on the bandwagon and say, a visit to your doctor might be the safest route. Even if he/she gives you a new prescription for Zoloft, you'll eliminate the anxiety about taking expired meds/while breastfeeding/without doctor's advice.

I'm totally in the same boat as you about eating/exercising. I'm so ABOUT to do something about it, and when I do there will be an international press release, so you'll be sure to hear of it (Local Mother Gets Off Ass, Blocks Out Sun. Global Warming Solved.). At my last doctor's visit though, something he said stuck with me--I mentioned that I have a family history of depression, and he suggested exercise. Which sounds like, duh, I told you I'm already trying to do that, but he said, it has so many other benefits, it's like free, organic prozac. Not a total newsflash, but putting it that way put it into perspective for me. (Now ask me when the last time I broke into a sweat was. Yes, I am a hypocrite, why do you ask? :)

The other thing I was thinking is you might ask if something herbal can help your outlook. Doesn't St. John's Wort help as a mood stabilizer? I might have dreamt that, but it's worth asking about. Especially since not all herbal supplements are safe for breastfeeding either.

I hope things improve for you, and the fact that you have five children who are fed and thriving speaks volumes. I know I couldn't do it, so kudos to you. Hang in there!

hello insomnia said...

Swistle, I want to bring over my MAC traincase so we can get our pretty on!

Shelly Overlook said...

I think Mrs. M is genius to suggest YOU take the lovely hotel visit and leave Nutso MIL to have the house. Although then you'd have a lot of contamination work to do after the visit.

The only reason I am concerned about the Zoloft is that it is expired. I don't think that's safe as I know that the properties of many meds change over time and I would hate for something awful to happen to you or Henry. I'm with everyone else in the "what can it hurt to call the doctor" zone. You are worth it!

Alice said...

woohoo! assvice! as a non-mother, not-breastfeeding, never-taken-Zoloft gal over here.... i'd, uh, probably take the zoloft. however, i also can't hang up a phone properly, so clearly i'm not the brightest crayon in the box here and no one should ever listen to me.

Misty said...

I too think you will make the right decision for you. It might not be the same thing I would do. But, just in case you are interested in what I *think* I might do:

1. Flush the Zoloft. It is expired and too tempting. It is like having a box of twinkies in your drawer. If you really need help, get a fresh script.

2. I would try to find any other possible way to cope OTHER than taking the pills, as I am breastfeeding as well.

3. If I did decide to take the pills, I would talk to the Doc about Xanax, just because that is what the girls at work tend to pop during high-stress short term situations. I think it "works on contact," but I have never taken it!

4. As for the body image thing, I would consider South Beach, just because I am a total sugar nut (am in dire love with cake, cookies, ice cream, etc.) but if you can get through the first three days of the strictest phase, your cravings disappear. Crazy! Madness! That would never happen! But it did. I splurged with my favorite cookie from a local bakery lately and this wonderful cookie that I usually dream about? Not so good. Not worth it at all. So, I would read up on it. Just because a craving-reduction has to help with the eating thing. Also, the whole point of South Beach is to NOT be hungry. I would also talk to Devan about the YOU on a diet thing, because those folks are pretty reputable as well.

And that is my two cents. Feel free to disregard every stinking bit of it. I know you don't feel like it now, but it will be ok. I am sure of it.

Flibberty said...

If I were you, I'd probably just take the Zoloft, more for its placebo effect than anything, but I also know that going to the doctor would be the prudent thing to do. Also, breathing. Stupid sounding? Yes. Difficulty to do. Most likely. But, if you sit there and breathe deeply for 30 seconds a few times a day, I've found I no longer want to take my expired Klonopin. Also, I wish my mom had taken time to take care of herself mentally when I was a kid (not that you need mental help, but you know what I mean?). You know what's best for you and the kids and the situation.

Shannon said...

Just hugs.

If I had a bottle of Zoloft in my medicine cabinet, I would totally be taking it right now, too.

I don't think it would hurt to give the doc a call, but knowing me, I know I wouldn't.

Pann said...

I don't know whether it's good to take OLD meds, but I probably would take them in your situation.

BUT... you are obviously worried about the breastfeeding. It might help you feel a lot better to call an LC, or LLL person, and ask them to look up a reference for Zoloft and tell you what it says.

I think it's considered one of the OK to use when breastfeeding drugs, but I am NOT a doctor and I don't even have the reference book to which I am referring.

but as for the label on the bottle, that is just a standard label which they seem to put on EVERY Rx medication regardless of whether it does anything at all to breastmilk or babies.

I think if you consider paying retail for really cute hats to be worth the money, then it should be a piece of cake to justify shelling out $20 so you can get the proper medical treatment that you deserve.

Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give your awesome kids , and I think you know that because you are such an awesome mom!!

Kathi said...

Sorry you're feeling like this--it's not fun. I would be scared to take the Zoloft while breastfeeding. I would probably talk to a lactation consultant to see if there's anything else. Hopefully things will get back to normal when the whole crazy MIL thing is over.

Jamie said...

I understand your stance on breastfeeding; however, get on medication if your horomones are all messed up. That's what happened to me. It made a tremendous difference in my view of everything and in my family when I got on anxiety medication. Trust me... you will benefit your children more by feeling great than by breastfeeding... TRUST ME!!!

I lost weight by cutting down to 1 Dr. Pepper a day vs 5 or 6. I also started eating dinner on a salad plate. No exercise, no special diet. Just tea most of the time and smaller portions 3 times a day. Snacks 3 times a day.

effie said...

Swistle,
Zoloft is one of the safest meds when breastfeeding, I wouldn't worry about that (though as a mom I can certainly understand that!) and as far as taking it w/out visiting a doc, I don't see it as a problem if it was prescribed for you before though if it doesn't really help much then it may be more of a hassle. There are natural alternatives that may help. Just boosting B vitamins, adding omega fish oil supplements and continuing to take prenatals would all help your mood alot. I try to keep up all three as I still BF but it't hard some days. Also what about practicing some things that would help while your *visitor* is there. Either some backup comments that you can say when she gets nasty or a way you can escape when you need to. I am sorry it causes so much stress and I think it is AMAZING that you are still exercising with kids and more kids. I have a hard time exercising with ONE. Good luck!

Stacie said...

I was on Zoloft for several months while nursing. It is , as I recall, the safest of the SSRIs to take while pregnant or nursing. Which isn't to say that you shouldn't talk to a doctor.

Honestly, you are a wonder woman. 5 kids. Crazy MIL. Small house. Funny writer. There are THIRTY-TWO posts from you in my reader. 32! Woman, I cannot keep up with you and I only have two kids. You scare me and impress me. I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed.

Tessie said...

I turn up my nose at the whole "lifestyle change" bullshit. Because while that is TRUE, the new lifestyle is still focused on DIET.

And I think we all know that I would fall into the "take the Zoloft" camp. But I am not a fretter, and if the fretting turns out to be worse than the Zoloft-inducers, then you are back to Even, when I think you are looking for Slightly Ahead.

Artemisia said...

First - I think you are great! *hugs*

Second, there is nothing wrong with understanding that you are really overwhelmed and in a funk and that you need something to help you out. In fact, I think that is great that you know that.

Third, I agree with Bunny and the other ladies. I am sure there are other options that will be safe while breastfeeding Henry, and that alone will lift much of the weight off your shoulders. Gentle little prod - please call your doctor.

Maybe it would be helpful to say to yourself that yes, you really want to change your eating and exercise habits, and that will start as soon as your lunatic MIL leaves? I've found that eating and exercise routines are so difficult to change that I never succeed if I try to make those changes while I am under a lot of other stress, like crappy work deadlines or a thesis that will never end. Maybe just knowing that you are going to make these changes, and knowing that it is one less thing that has to get done before the MIL arrives will make you feel a bit better?

And I'd like to reiterate what AndreAnna said: You have 50+ folks out here who genuinely care about you, will be cheering for you no matter what and who will step in and be the support you need.

Please take care. We love you!!

Katie said...

Have you seen this article? Men are happier than women and can stand their parents.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/26/business/26leonhardt.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

Also, I agree that you should probably call your doctor. You are overwhelmed, underappreciated, trying to hold it all together and take care of SIX other peoples' needs. Maybe YOU need something. And maybe a doctor would have something better for you than some old medicine from your underwear drawer. The Zoloft is *probably* fine, but maybe the doc has something that is *Definitely!* fine and will leave you feeling better and less guilty about taking it!

We are all rooting for you, Swistle! I hate that your MIL is such a FREAK.

Katie said...

Oh! I second the South Beach suggestion. The first few days are hard, but really it is just a way of eating healthfully. Lots of veggies, lean meats, whole grains....

I know so many people who have lost a ton of weight on it, cut their cholesterol, etc, etc....and it is still very satisfying and you don't feel hungry!

Anonymous said...

I know I should be all loud and proud about my antidepressant experiences, but I'm going anonymous here because I'm a big chicken. So. I was misdiagnosed with anxiety after the birth of child #1 and was put on Xanax, which did not help at all. I was correctly diagnosed with postpartum depression at my 6 week exam and was put on Sarafem (which is totally Prozac renamed so as not to be a turn-off to women). I was on it for about 10 months, and I breastfed. My current OB decided to start me on lowest-dose Prozac after child #2 was born because of my history. I stayed on it for about 6 months, while breastfeeding. I imagine he will prescribe the same thing after child #3 is born. My children are healthy and fine, and the medications helped me a lot at a time when I needed it.
Just my two cents,
Big Chicken

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Oh Swistle, you are not alone in feeling this way. I'm going to 32nd the recommendation to at least talk to your doctor. I'm merely worried about the Zoloft being expired. I know you worked in a pharmacy so you know this.

Sometimes it's nice to know others feel the same (as evidenced by 31 other commenters). I'm overwhelmed right now, and hate my body, too, eventhough I've been working out. How is it possible to work out at least 3 times a week and not have lost an ounce!?!

You're not alone. We've all got your back.

Anonymous said...

Can I first say that I love your blog with a passion that rivals my love for mint chocolate chop ice cream????? And that is saying something.

I am currently taking 50 mg of Zoloft and am breastfeeding my 6 month old daughter. I started at 25 mg and ramped up slowly. It has been a lifesaver for me. Just kind of takes the edge of - I'm still a worry-wart because that's just who I am, but I am able to fall asleep when I'm exhausted, which is how it should be.

(Sidenote: Am in awe of your clearly superior coping skills. Hello five children and impending doom of crazy MIL visit! I would be concerned if you weren't feeling a bit nutty!)

Jana said...

I *heart* you for saying what so many of us are scared to admit. I don't know much about the ppd/Zoloft issue, but like others said, a quick call to the OB can clear that up.

As for the diet/exercise issue, I have to second the "YOU on a Diet" that someone else suggested (Devan, maybe?). Hubby and I started it when I was 8 months pg with #2 and it's done wonders for us (weight for me, cholesterol and blood pressure for him). Finding the time to walk the required 30 minutes a day is my big issue, but the diet itself is not all that hard. And I found that after a couple of weeks I stopped obsessing about food and things that were bad for me (fried chicken, pizza, etc) didn't even sound good anymore. It's kinda nice to be in the "eat to live" category rather than the "live to eat" one.

Jeninacide said...

Hmm... I have a lot of experience with antidepressants, but none while breastfeeding. Sadly I think you should talk to you doctor just to be safe. No doubt he will either renew your prescription or prescribe you something else.. Doctor's LUUUV prescribing anti-anxiety medication (at least in my experience).

Zoloft personally made me go completely NUTSO, and I responded better to Paxil.. but your doctor would definitely have a better idea of what is best for you!

Here's the Wikipedia link for Zoloft:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sertraline

Scroll down and it will tell you about the effects on fetuses and breastfed babies... : )

Good Luck! I feel ya sista!

Erica said...

Here's my $.02 for what it's worth:
If it were me, I'd just take the Zoloft, but I know that's not the right thing to do. I think you ought to call your OB and broach the subject of PPD. I have nothing against taking meds for depression/anxiety, I just think you ought to at least talk to the dr so you're not extra worried about the Zoloft and Henry. Extra worry is not what you need right now.

I completely empathize with the food/coping stuff. I do that so well that I'm 100+ pounds overweight. But I can cope like nobody's business! If you're wanting to do something a little more structured than "eating better," I can recommend Weight Watchers. I've been on it for five weeks and it's made a big difference. I had some trouble committing to the program at first, but that was all me and not the WW.

Please feel free to email me if you want more info on it.

jen said...

I can empathize. But I have no advice, because LOOK AT ME. If I knew the secrets, I could get rich...

That said, after how I felt after D was born I think I'd suck it and just Take Something. I am kind of scared of feeling that much full of rage again. Not that I ever hurt the kids but I was a little impatient over stupid things. I hated feeling that way and I was halfway through my current pregnancy before I felt normal enough to realize what a contrast it was. It was big enough that me.. miss "haven't taken a drug since '03 due to nursing or pregnancy" would just give in and do it. There is at least one drug that's fine while nursing. And hey thalidomide, it's not.

Jess said...

I'm with you. And if your doctor prescribed it for you before my guess is that he/she will prescribe it again. Maybe just call in for a refill and get a shiny new bottle. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Hard stuff.

Sam said...

Oh, my lovely darling Swistle. I know you will choose what is right, and there is lots of good advice here. But if you really want to know what I think - it is this. If a visit from your mother in law makes you consider medication, well, then maybe, just maybe, it is time to mention this to Paul. Because I'm sorry, family or not, it just shouldn't be this stressful for you to have her come for a visit. No stinking way! And I say this totally without judgment (and not that there is anything wrong with needing medication, I don't mean that at all) and only with total, squishy love for you. You are the queen of your home, and you (yes you! and Paul too!) are allowed to say NO, YOU CANNOT COME, THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME. THE END. And since she hasn't made any REAL arrangements (like a plane ticket! or a hotel!) what can she say?

Or maybe? You can just lie like a DOG and tell her that all the children have the flu. That should keep her away, right?

aoife said...

My friend's midwife suggested the following for depression as an option before prescription drugs and their possible side effects.

One B-Complex everyday and 1000 - 3000 mg of Inositol (use the amount that works). The inositol is a derivative of B-Complex and both are water soluble and wash out of your system if you have too much in you. (kinda like Vit C does).

You can find the inositol online at Puritan's Pride. They usually have sales.

I actually add these into my daily prozac regime and I can tell when I don't take them.

Black Sheeped said...

Um!

Someone mentioned Xanax up there. Xanax is really bad for babies!

Anonymous said...

Black Sheeped--

Oh, I know! I was not recommending Xanax AT ALL; I was just saying that that's what my idiot first OB put me on when I was young and depressed and misdiagnosed and didn't know any better.

Anonymous said...

After I had such a hard postpartum time after my first child, I went right back on Zoloft when my second was born. I breastfed my first(and now my second) while on 50mg of Zoloft.

I agonized over the decision when my first was a baby. The breastfeeding was important to me; I worked really hard to figure it out; I didn't want to give it up right when it was finally working for us. I also trust my doctor 99.9%. That certainly helps. He said it was okay, and he told me I shouldn't worry about it, so that's what I'm doing. My boys are healthy as ox.

This time around, I worry less about taking the Zoloft while breastfeeding, but I still worry a little. There are just no guarantees.

I bet this isn't helping at all, but my point is-- for what it's worth-- I feel like the Zoloft is a tool to help me be a better Mom. It's not that I couldn't do without it, but it helps, and if it doesn't hurt anything (I guess that's the big If), then for me the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Also I wanted to tell you that there is now a generic form of Zoloft. When my first baby was born, my crappy insurance wouldn't cover Zoloft because there was no generic, and it was going to be super expensive out-of-pocket. My doctor ended up giving me tons of samples, and then a few months later the generic came out. I don't know if that affects your decision to get a fresh prescription or not, but the generic is CHEAP. I think I pay $8 for 30 days worth, which is cheaper than my prescription copay. Just in case you didn't know.

And I never gained extra weight from Zoloft. I know everyone is different that way, but if anything, the Zoloft helps control that anxiety-eating for me. Not entirely, but I think I'm less likely to eat a whole dozen cookies in response to the baby crying (I still do that sometimes, but less often I think).

Farrell said...

I would call the doc, esp. with the breast-feeding thing though it's prob. ok at a low dose, but I worry about you going off of it and I KNOW because I was on Zoloft and now I'm on Effexor only when I thought "Hey! I don't need anxiety medicine anymore" and my idiot doctor didn't tell me I had to WEAN off of it and three days later I FREAKED out so bad that my then-husband now ex had to call in sick for me...well, you get my point.
Otherwise, about the eating thing? Yeah. Some people deal with stress by not eating. Other people eat. I eat. Unfortunately.
Though you may want to try: Sugar Busters. It's tough, but it works. I should do it again too.
good luck; keep us posted.