(I didn't mean to advertise medication--that pen is
stolen a souvenir from my pharmacy job)
(I didn't mean to advertise medication--that pen is
1) Do you think I wear glasses? contacts? neither? About a fourth of you guessed correctly that I wear glasses; I wore them part-time until my early 20s, when I had to start wearing them all the time and switched to contacts. I wore contacts until my first pregnancy, when I kept falling asleep with the contacts in. After the baby was born, I appreciated the way glasses could be put on in one second and didn't require enzyme treatments. I've never gone back to contacts, and now I feel weird without glasses on: glasses are part of "what I look like" and my face would be "wrong" if I went back to contacts. I have a restriction on my driver's license and must wear them to drive: the tester said, "Read line 4" and I said, "There isn't a line 4." There was a line 4.
2) What color do you think my hair is? How long do you think is it? Bonus point to Bethany for being freakishly correct with this description: "Mousy brown, used to be chin length, but now it's grown out to a little past shoulder length and you keep meaning to get a haircut."
I gave one point to about 40% of you for any of these answers: dark blonde, sandy blonde, brownish blonde, dirty blonde, honey blonde, mousy brown, light brown--but I awarded an unofficial secret bonus half-point for words such as "honey," and deducted an unofficial secret half-point for words such as "dirty." About 30% of you thought I was a brunette. About 20% of you thought I was a blonde. The rest of you guessed redhead, or tried to cheat with double guesses.
My hair is a color my mother calls "wheat" and my mother-in-law calls "dishwater." I myself prefer "amber waves of grain." It is somewhere in the murky area between blonde and brown and couldn't correctly be called either blonde or brown. I like to color it lighter and/or redder, but it is not currently dyed. I don't have any grey hairs yet, though surely with five children it is only a matter of time.
About 70% of you guessed correctly that it is shoulder-length, and you each got an additional point. About 20% of you thought it was longer, and about 10% of you thought it was short. If I could figure out how to get to the salon it would be jawline-length and I would wear it tucked behind my ears. Since it's longer, I wear it in a sloppy french twist.
3) Do you think I have bangs? 60% of you correctly guessed no and got another point. I had bangs for 30 years. I grew them out (is "growing out bangs" in one of the nine circles of hell? if it isn't, we need ten circles) when I was pregnant with the twins, because I have a huge double cowlick and need to gel/blowdry/curl/hairspray bangs to keep them them from sticking up Something About Mary-style, and I thought I might not be up to that after a night with two newborns.
4) What color do you think my eyes are? Nearly 40% of you guessed green or hazel and got another point. They're hazel, like an army green. About 25% of you thought I had blue eyes; about 30% of you thought I had brown eyes. Three of you got an unofficial secret bonus half-point for guessing grey, just because I like the sound of that.
5) How many times do you think my ears are pierced? Not even one single person guessed correctly that I have four piercings in each earlobe. I used to use all four, then just two, now just one. I wear earrings every day unless I'm, say, in the maternity ward. More than half of you thought I had one piercing in each ear; about a third of you thought two piercings in each ear; and the rest of you thought zero, three, seven (!), or an uneven number such as 2 in one ear and 3 in the other.
6) Do you think I have any non-ear piercings, or any tattoos? Over 55% of you guessed correctly that I have no other piercings and no tattoos. 35% of you thought I had a tattoo; I want a tattoo badly, but don't know what to get or where to put it. Not even 1% thought I had other piercings; I'd like to get my eyebrow pierced now that I've grown out my bangs, but I'm not sure I want to gross out my mom.
7) How tall do you think I am? 15% of you guessed correctly that I'm 5 feet 9 inches tall. According to Wikipedia, the average U.S. female is 5 feet 4 inches tall, so over 90% of you guessed that I was taller than average--but only those of you who were on the exact inch get a point.
8) Do you think I have siblings? Where do you think I am in the birth order? The only way to get a point for this question was to correctly guess that I am an oldest child, as nearly half of you did: for scoring purposes, I ignored information about how many siblings and whether they were sisters or brothers. I have one brother. He's two years younger than I am. I was very interested to see that a third of you thought I was a middle child; just under 10% thought I was the youngest, and just under 10% thought I was an only. Let's talk later about why you thought so, because birth order is a favorite topic of mine.
9) How old do you think I am? I'm 33 years old, and 30% of you got a point for guessing that. 45% of you thought I was older. 25% of you thought I was younger, but some of those votes were clearly kiss-ups.
Jen gets a bonus point for thinking I'm British. I'm not, but I liked her thinking that I was.
Not including bonus and unofficial/secret points, there was a maximum score of ten points: one point for guessing glasses, one point for guessing hair color, one point for guessing hair length, one point for guessing no bangs, one point for guessing eye color, one point for guessing number of ear piercings, one point for guessing that I had no other piercings or tattoos, one point for guessing height, one point for guessing I was an oldest child, and one point for guessing my age. Most people got 3 or 4 points.