August 11, 2007

Boys For Sale, Week Two Running Report, Angel DVD Reminder, Cookie Recipe Variation Report

I have really, really, REALLY been trying to enjoy this summer with Rob and William--especially with William, because this is the year William starts first grade, and I learned with Rob that first grade is when kids take a giant step away.

But I am NOT enjoying this summer with Rob and William, and do you know why? It is because I don't like my children anymore, apparently. They are loud and obnoxious, and they have two modes: (1) giddy and (2) bickery. They are either saying, "Imagine if, like, a strawberry crashed into the wall and went [*loud spitting sound*]!!!" and then laughing wildly until they fall over, and then saying it fifty more times, laughing just as much each time, getting higher and higher pitched until I feel like covering my ears and screaming, or else they are saying in teeth-clenched irritation, "Give me that thing." "WHAT thing?" "THAT thing." "WHAT thing?" "ROB!!BERT!! GIVE IT TO ME!" "OW!! Mommy, William hit me!!" "It was an ACCIDENT!!" "NO IT WAS NOT!!" Or, worst of all, they are doing this sort of nauseating baby talk, and using it to say nonsense. They are as annoying as a flashing banner ad plus a car alarm plus a shirt that needs to be tugged down every 5 minutes.

We did all three days of Week Two of the running program. We thought we might die, but we did it. We've had a little trouble with knowing when we're supposed to stop doing sessions of jogging. Like, if you alternate jogging and walking for 20 minutes as instructed, you do jogging, walking, jogging, walking, jogging, walking, jogging, walking, jogging, walking--and there are 2.5 minutes left. Should you jog for 1.5 minutes and then only have 1 minute of walking before you're done? Or should you walk that whole last 2.5 minutes to cool down? We've been jogging 1 minute and then walking the last 1.5. I'm sure a real runner would be making air quotes all over the place: "Oh, you want to know how long you should 'cool down' after 'all that running'? [*gigantic eye roll*] Gosh, are you sure this is 'Couch to 5K' and not 'Couch to Iron Man'?"

I don't know how we're going to be able to do Week Three, which goes up to 3 minutes of jogging. [Real Runner rolls eyes so hard he/she risks popping them off their tethers entirely.] We're going to try it, but if necessary we're going to go up one 30-second increase at a time: a week of 2-minute jogs, a week of 2.5-minute jogs, and then, MAYBE, a week of 3-minute jogs. We'll see. [Real Runner has to consume sports drink to replenish electrolytes lost from disdain.]

Comment here if you're interested in getting Swistle's Angel DVDs, season 1, watched once, mailed to you free of charge so that you will get addicted and I will have more people to talk about it with out of nothing but love. For those who are unfamiliar with the show, it is about a tall handsome broody vampire with vulnerable eyes and a long leather coat. He used to be evil but now uses hair product and works on the side of Good for 42 minutes once a week. I'm looking for (1) names of people who want the DVDs and (2) suggestions on how to decide who gets them, especially if it's something fun.

I tried the cookies with mint extract and regular chocolate chips, and they are good. If the ones with mint chocolate chips are a 10, the ones with extract and regular chocolate chips are maybe an 8.5, maybe a 9. They lack the "little bursts of mint" effect, but retain the overall chocolate/mint excellence.


Doulala said...

I'm doing week 3 for a second time. Week 4 asks you to run for 5 minutes straight (plus do a 3 minute run too). I don't think I'm ready for all that.

AndreAnna said...

I need mint cookies. Am withering away from allergies which leave me unable to taste food. Now would be a good time for me to eat wheatgrass or some other nasty healthy stuff, just cause I couldn't taste it.

Good work on the running! :)

I think you should run a "who makes the ugliest face" contest, whereby each blogger must post a terrible photo of themselves on their blog, and the worst wins. You could also do a "ugliest 80s outfit," "worst bridesmaids dress, or "worst haircut"

The embarassment could be endless. Mwuah-ha-ha.

jonniker said...

Oh dude. First of all, three minutes is a long-ass time, and I remember the first time I did it, I did in fact die, and am running now from beyond the grave. Be not ashamed! Three minutes might as well be THIRTY at that point!

I did week two twice, I believe, and week three at least twice, as I was nursing an injury. And then when I injured myself again, I went week one like ELEVEN TIMES, week two for three times, and so on... honestly, I did not move ahead in the weeks alotted. I repeated every week at least twice.

Also, if you look ahead, weeks five and six and up often change the workouts from one session to the next. Because I run four-five days a week instead of three (don't hate me and please don't punch me), I do the first workout 2-3 times, and the other two twice, carrying over into the next week. And I run S L O W L Y, and I'm not ashamed!

The other thing is that Weeks Four and Five ask you to run for the last five minutes, thereby skipping the cool-down. What I do is run that, then take an extra two minutes to walk to cool down. I know that's not appealing, but it helps.

Omaha Mama said...

What with my hip popping and me falling over, I've been laying low in the exercise world. My hubs is still doing it though, so you've got a male convert.

I've never been a real runner. I totally get what you are saying.

I'll trade your boys for one slightly used husband.

whoorl said...

Since I've started C25K, every week has been challenging. When I ran three minutes for the first time, it seemed like an ETERNITY, but I pushed on through. And you know what? This morning I ran 2.75 miles (28 minutes) without stopping. OH MY GOD.

Hang in there, Swistle! It is SO worth it!!

Annie said...

Thanks for writing this because I don't like my daughter anymore and I was feeling really bad about it alternately with fantasizing about boarding schools. Sometimes it helps to remember her as a baby - until her head starts spinning around.

Erica said...

Tonight, while grocery shopping at the evil and incidious Mart, I saw "Andes Mints" chunks. No mint chips at all, but these seemed like they'd be really tasty. You should probably try them and see if they work, because I cannot bear to make them. If I do, I will eat them all and that would be bad. Wouldn't it?

Erica said...

Oh, and C2K in 103 degree weather? NEGATIVE.

I ordered an exercise/torture device, so that I can work out in the house. In the blessed A/C.

Devan said...

We are starting over with week 1 because I got sick and haven't done any since Sunday. Oh well. And when we get to week 3, well, I just don't know if I can run that long. I'll probably have to ease into it slower than that.
Especially if you keep posting all these cookie recipes.

Nellyru said...

That whole second paragraph was positively hilarious. I laugh, but I swear it's with empathy!

Marie Green said...

You are such a good blogger, always following up with yourself. I feel like this is the only complete train of thought I get these days. (You know that ADD feeling moms get when trying to talk to other mom's with kids underfoot. You start like 543 conversations, only to get interrupted every time...) Anyway, at least I get the WHOLE STORY when I read here. Many, many thanks. I should get better about that on my own blog... not to mention my own life...

Marie Green said...

PS. I nearly died when I saw the week 3 running plan. If the running doesn't kill me, reading the upcoming weeks running times will!

Ser said...

My boys seem to have the two modes that you speak of: loud and silly to the extreme (mine are into potty humor right now) or fighting. Is it something about brothers? I remember my own brothers being the same way.

Nichole said...

I've tried to do Couch to 5K twice. Both times I've made it to Week 5, only to find out that I was pregnant.
I haven't decided yet if I'm going to try it again after Baby No. 2 arrives.

MrsGrumpy said...

I am in awe of all of you who are doing the couch to running thing.

Misty said...

WhatwhatWHAT? What do you MEAN "giant step away"???


WHY did no one tell me of this? Ohgod. Can I just, not send mine to school this year?

Tessie said...

1) I agree with Misty...what do you MEAN giant step away? AHH! Please elaborate!

2)If I have to choose between giddy and bickery I go with bickery every time. I cannot abide giddy. I know that makes me a total Debbie Downer but with bickery I can just laugh it off like "oh, those kids". Giddy I am just like W!T!F! this is so annoying!

3) I agree with Jonniker. 3 minutes is a long-ass time. Also no shame whatsoever in walking vs. running and in fact studies show that walk breaks actually IMPROVE your times in long distance races and many experts use them in their training programs and blah blah blah trail off if you even made it this far.

Mommy Daisy said...

Ok, I may as well go and admitt it. I did Day 1 of the C25K thing, and that's it. I never got any farther. Kudos to you for keeping up with it. I need to get back and try that (or just any sort of exercise) again very soon. Just seeing that you're still going is inspiring!

Swistle said...

Andreanna-- Great contest ideas! Maybe "most humiliating story."

Jonniker-- I found that whole comment very reassuring. Even the part where you run 5 days a week, because it makes it seem like maybe this is an exercise plan that works and does not suck so much people can't bear to do it.

Whoorl-- You, too: VERY reassuring. If 3 was really hard but now you're doing 28, there is hope for Swistle too.

Annie-- Ooooh, BOARDING SCHOOL. *drifting into reverie* I find it helps to imagine them as grown-ups providing me with grandchildren and paying for my nursing home.

Erica-- You should do a post on how you chose what equipment to buy. I get overwhelmed whenever I start considering choices.

Nichole-- That says very promising things for the hotness results of this program, if you can't make it past week 5 without getting knocked up.

Misty-- Don't panic! Maybe it was just MY first-grader. But it seemed like once he was spending so many hours at school instead of at home, he was more of a Big Boy, and also started being more influenced by teacher and friends.

Tessie-- I laughed a lot at the end of #3.

Me Today said...

I am SOOO with you on the not liking your kids part! I have been having those exact feelings lately. Here's what you need: EAR PLUGS! I'm tellin' ya, they are great!

Jess said...

Okay, I know I'm a bit late on this, but what I did for week two was go for 21 minutes instead of 20. So you alternate walking and jogging until you have two and a half minutes left--and then if you jog for a minute and a half and walk for two minutes, you're at 21 minutes. I figured the extra minute of exercise was probably doing me good and in the meantime my OCD need for perfect balance was sated.