July 23, 2007

Perfect Happiness; And, For Contrast, More Talk About Running


If you know of any greater pleasure than sitting alone in a quiet house with a pint of Dove "Vanilla with a Chocolate Soul" ice cream, reading blogs and finding pictures of Erin's and Sam's new babies (congratulations, Erin! congratulations, Sam!), knowing that both the new Harry Potter book and the next disc of Angel are standing by for the next nursing session, then don't tell me--my heart can't take it.

My August copy of Jane magazine (which, by the way, I hear is the last: the magazine has gone under) arrived this weekend, and in it was this:


Is that a sign or what? Oh, well, yes, it's literally a sign. But I mean, is it, you know, a chorus-of-angels type sign? Answer: no. But! A neat coincidence.

I am gradually becoming resigned to the idea that we will be trying the running program. I remind you all that I am almost certain to ditch it, possibly the very first week, so if you're looking for a bellwether (that's the lead sheep; also, a good book by Connie Willis) you'd be better off finding someone else. But if you want someone who did the absolute minimum required to pass gym and after every session got a bag each of Doritos and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to restore precious, precious electrolytes, then join up with me, my friend! And lo, we will pant and curse together! And then partake of delicious restorative substances! And then quit! and hide the receipt for the running shoes! and partake of even more delicious restorative substances, now that our time is not being taken up by that pesky running program!

Speaking of delicious restorative substances, please note that there is NO DIET taking place at this time. I reserve the right to add one later if I start feeling all awesome, but "One horrible torture at a time," that's my philosophy. If I am running, I am also eating pints of Dove ice cream (also if I stop running). The goal right now is only--only--to get the buns off the recliner for a brief session per day. That's IT. Then it's back to the recliner.

I am drinking coffee again! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I was feeling so, so sleepy every day, and finally I got it together enough to get the coffee pot out. (I put it away when I got pregnant. Coffee makes me feel barfy when I'm pregnant, and "being pregnant" already makes me feel as much barfy as I want to feel.) I made some yesterday morning and felt good all day. I drank more this morning (note to self: teach children to make coffee and bring it to me in bed) and feel great again. Yay coffee!

24 comments:

Misguided Mommy said...

what is this dove ice cream you speak of and where exactly do i get some NOW!

Erin said...

Hey, thanks so much for the shout-out. Even though I know that my baby looks remarkably like a wrinkley old man, I can't get enough of hearing that he's adorable.

I will definitely join you in the running, but in a few weeks once the-- um-- injuries-- of birth heal up. Running is one of the few things I actually KNOW something about! You know what the hardest part of any run is? Making it out the front door.

Christine said...

My goodness, do you know I managed to convince my boyfriend to start running too. Oh my.

Welcome back to coffee, and I think that you should completely bribe the eldest to brew it for you in the morning. Otherwise there's always the twins. It's never to young. From about the age of five (maybe younger) on my sister would weekly clean the toilet after my mother convinced her that it was only something for older people and was really fun.

Christine said...

God, "too young." Not "to."

AndreAnna said...

Coffee is my life force. Without it, I am an empty shell of a woman, useless as a wife and mother. When I've had my morning cup, all is right in the world.

Swistle said...

Misguided Mommy--It is SO GOOD. I can also speak highly of the mint and butter pecan flavors. Make someone go to your grocery store and look near the Ben & Jerry's and Haagan Whoozit pints.

el-e-e said...

I remember when I stopped nursing AJ and allowed myself to get back on coffee, and what a completely different -- unfoggy! coherent! non-shuffling! -- person I was, after all. It's like a LIGHT SWITCH.

(Of course I'm back off it now. Even though the studies came out since AJ's birth about caffeine in normal-size doses really being okay for pregnant women. Garrrrghhhhhzzzzzzz.)

Christina said...

So, I'm going to give this running thing a try this evening. I know! I'm one week early! But I was actually able to find a gym partner for tonight, so I figure since my ass could use some serious cardio anyways, it can't hurt to try out Day 1, Week 1 tonight. And see if I die or not. If I die, then I have one week to suck it up and become alive again so I can re-start next week. I will let you know how close I come to death.

As a side note, my gym friend was informed last night that in the event that my death becomes imminent, she needs to shove several large spoonfuls of ice cream in my mouth, so I can still die happy. Perhaps I'll pick up a pint of the Dove ice cream on the way to the gym!

Pickles & Dimes said...

Ugh. I hate running, but have been reluctantly pushed by my fiance to do it - in the mornings, no less.

I always reward myself after exercising with bad food, too. BECAUSE I DESERVE IT.

wheelmaker said...

Oh man, I looooove Dove ice cream. Unfortunately, the grocery stores in my 'hood hardly ever have it. One of them did start carrying Blue Bunny ice cream, which is almost as good as Dove, it just doesn't have the chocolate coating on top.

Devan said...

That whole post made me laugh. I'm already dieting and exercising, but cannot bring myself to run, which I loathe.
I will continue to enjoy your posts about it though. That ice cream sounds good. Of course, I just ate 1/4 gallon of "Death by Chocolate" LIGHT ice cream. I think the light doesn't count if you eat the whole thing - especially when a serving size is 1/2 cup and you bought it yesterday evening and it's almost gone...
Yay on getting your coffee back!

Devan said...

OK - that post really makes me sound like I'm not dieting. hmmm
Maybe I should rethink this...

JMH said...

So..many ..commments!! OK, first of all, hurry up and read HP Book 7 so we can discuss it! (Please?) I read it in 24 hours (husband and children be dammned! sleep? Who needs it?) I won't say anymore so I don't ruin it for you.

Running. I used to HATE running with a major passion. However, in my endless quest to look like a buff Hollywood type, I decided to sign up to run a 5K and told everyone what I was doing. I followed a plan similar to the one you are doing. Guess what? I now ENJOY running. Really! It works! That being said, I detest running outside. I am much happier on my treadmill, in air conditioning, with my TV and ipod. But seriously, I really do like it and I run at least 5 days a week. I did run the 5K, but I still don't look buff. Maybe it's due to all of the Swistle brownie and cookie recipies? hmmm....:)

Sara said...

Oh how I love that Dove ice cream, with the perfect chocolate top....mmmmmm.

I'm thinking about the running, but on a treadmill of course. Never outside, with all the, gulp, BUGS.

Misguided Mommy said...

SO I LOOKED ON THEIR WEBSITE AND THE ONLY PLACE I CAN FIND IT IS CLEAR ACROSS TOWN. I HAVE TO MAKE A SPECIAL TRIP JUST TO GET THERE BUT DAMMIT I WANT THAT ICE CREAM

Shannon said...

I LOVE coffee.

So does my almost three year old.

I'm trying to figure out the logistics of running. DH leaves early and gets home late. Oh the joys of a commuter lifestyle.

Katie said...

Why did it take you SO long to return to the coffee after the birth? I couldn't have made it through the first two weeks without it! Good luck with the running. It sounds hellacious....but lots of people seem to love it. Too bad I'm not one of them!

Erica said...

Ok, I'm so not on board with the running thing, but I'm totally there with you if you wanted to do some sort of "couch to the freezer for another pint" training program.

Swistle said...

Misguided Mommy: Send a minion. Say, "Fetch me two each of every flavor, please." Then give an imperious wave of your hand.

JMH: Working on it, working on it! I'm on page 272. Can you believe my LIBRARY called me at 8:30 Saturday morning to say my copy was in? She said they'd just opened the boxes. Also, I really want a treadmill. REALLY WANT. But--what if I bought one and never used it? That would suck.

Katie: I can't explain it. Somehow the task of getting the coffee maker out seemed insurmountable. Also, I was worried that I'd drink coffee and it would make the baby crazy. I can't explain that, either.

Erica: That's next!

bubandpie said...

You're watching Angel! I relied on Buffy and Angel to get me through the nursing months with Bub. (And if Pie had been a boy, she would have been named Wesley after Wesley Wyndham-Price.)

Swistle said...

Bubandpie: Buffy got me through the pregnancy, and now I'm counting on Angel to see me through the nursing months. Angel sure is pretty to look at, isn't he?

I love the nickname Wes.

Omaha Mama said...

Coffee is worth a WOO HOO!!!

I'm so glad that you write about the probability of quitting the running program - because that is so the story of my life. I'm still planning to start it and hey, maybe this time it will stick!

Mrs. Flinger said...

I just started running on FRIDAY. Why? Because the boychild will not stop crying if I'm walking. Also? My toddler yells, "FASTER MOMMY FASTER!" and if I don't hurry, she'll wake her brother. :-)

Swistle said...

JMH-- I finished HP7!