July 9, 2007


I ran into a casual acquaintance today at the park. She was there with her husband and kids. After about an hour of watching/hearing her husband, I'm 98% sure he's abusive--and if he's not, I'm 100% sure he's an unpleasant asshole. He's a guy I knew a little bit in high school, and I hadn't seen him since. Over the years I've known her, I have gone on and on and ON to her about what a fine upstanding fellow he was: so smart and so respectful and so responsible and so mature--because he WAS in high school. I was trying to say nice things ("Great husband! Nice choice!"), but now I imagine her listening to my way-off crap and feeling like now she can't confide in me that he's actually one of those tightly-wound guys who, in a movie, would soon be cackling crazily and wielding a shotgun. I feel like a right dumbass. No wonder our friendship never seemed to move forward. Also, I have that "wanting to fix it" feeling ("Should I ask if everything's okay?") that never leads anywhere good.

William swallowed a Magnetix ball--it's like a metal marble. Luckily he didn't swallow one of the little magnetic parts of the set: those are the pieces that have caused the sets to be recalled. The pediatrician says "all we have to do is watch for it to come out." Well, I don't know if you've had this "watching" privilege before. I never had. I'm glad that what we're talking about here is not, say, a valuable item that must be retrieved, and that after I "find" it, I can let it flush right down the toilet.

I am stricken by my stupid procrastination. I've been meaning for MONTHS to pack up the Magnetix and mail them in for the replacement toy, but I've been so MAD about it: I don't WANT a stupid replacement toy, I want our money back. We spent a lot of money on multiple sets of Magnetix because they were so awesome, and now they're, you know, FATAL, and so even though it's a stupid decision to keep them in the house, I feel angry about the lost money and the replacement toy, and so I put it off. Dumbass.

Also, I feel despair at the way even a six-year-old will still EAT A TOY, when I thought we were about three years past worrying about that.

And I feel hopeless because we'll probably never find all the little dangerous magnets that have fallen out of the plastic sticks: the other day, the cat had a little chain of magnets hanging from his collar. They're tiny, they're everywhere, and they can be fatal if the child swallows more than one, and there's no way we can find them all. My solution? Don't think about it. GREAT IDEA! I'm lucky it was William who swallowed a piece, since he can tell me that he did. And I'm lucky he swallowed a non-magnetic component, which is not dangerous unless he also swallows a magnet. And I'm a total dumbass for keeping this toy in the house just because I'm sulking about the money.

To be fair, I'm not the dumbass who ate the metal marble.


Marie Green said...

Wow, 1st to comment 2 days in a row. Kinda makes me look like a Swistle stalker, but I swear, I just have good timing! =)

Geez, sucks about the magnetics. I find recalls often to overwhelming in their small-detailness and put off going through the hassle. Not to mention what a feat it is to actually PUT A PACKAGE IN THE MAIL. Seriously, I have a Christmas present that is still sitting by my door, waiting to be mailed. I'm not making that up.

Misty said...

We had the Magnetix issue as well. Me? I knew I wasn't going to get a replacement toy or anything of the sort. So, whenver I come across any of the Magnetix pieces parts, I simply pitch it in the garbage. Perhaps, since William knows firsthand the allure of swallowing the small toys and has younger siblings to "protect", it could be his "special job" to locate the offensive pieces and pitch them. It is just an idea. Feel free to veto me!

Devan said...

ugh. What a pain. I still haven't mailed off our peanut butter lids after that recall a few months back, nor my Complete contact solution. I can't even imagine the hassle with a bazillion little toy pieces. They should be required to just give people their money back, because I guarantee there are tons of people out there who won't ever go to the hassle of boxing it up and hauling all the kids to the post office to wait in line and mail the damn thing. I'm one of the those people who won't do it.

desperate housewife said...

Hmm... Maybe you could get each of the kids one of those metal detectors, like that old people comb the beach for rings with, and set them loose on a Magnetix-hunting adventure? Could kill a few hours, too!

angie said...

I have a similar problem. I hooked up one of my friends with a new girl we had met...now she is obviously one of our friends too. They are opposites and have probably considered or actually broken up at least 15 billion times and I know there are days she cusses my name for getting them together...oh well live and learn.

Sorry to hear about your watchful duty...doesn't sound fun but glad William didn't swallow the pieces that were recalled!

Shannon said...

I'm sorry, that totally blows.I'm glad the prodigal son is ok. Could you get a big magnet and put it on a stick and make it a game to find the small magnets?

I'm sorry about the friend issue as well. Ugh, what a situation!

And onto other unpleasant situations, have you heard from MIL yet?

jen said...

I'm with desperate, only I'd just cobble the children some magnetic shoes and leave it at that.

Why do I buy the children toys with millions of pieces when all I do is agonize over WHY ARE THEY ALL OVER MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!? *pant pant*

Swistle said...

Marie Green and Devan: EXACTLY. Mailing it is at least half the battle. I'm tempted to do what Misty is doing, and just pitch it all.

Shannon: STILL nothing from MIL. This is Day 8.

Jen: I KNOW! I do the SAME THING!

Great idea, everyone who suggests various magnetic gathering techniques! I had not thought of that! I am going to make these children earn their keep!

Misguided Mommy said...

wow. gosh. eeek. that scares me. i have no idea what magnetix are but gosh very scary.

Karly said...

Oh my god. Here I am reading along worrying myself to death about poor William and what if he swallows another one and OHMYWORD I need to go clean out my kids toy box because we have those too and then...and then I read the last line and I busted out laughing. Kids. They are pretty dumb, aren't they?