March 3, 2007

Weekends

I don't know why I look forward to weekends; it must be a holdover from my paying-job-and-no-kids days. When Paul is home, the workload is theoretically lighter but it feels heavier.

For example, when I'm the only parent in charge, it doesn't bother me much to be unshowered and unbreakfasted while I'm feeding and bathing the children. When there are two parents, it bothers me very much, especially if Paul has made his own shower and his own breakfast a priority, or if he's all crabby because he hasn't been able to: "I haven't even taken a shower yet," he'll say, ostensibly to the child asking to be played with, but actually to me, to communicate not only his extreme awesomeness but also his extreme suffering. I know it's a particular bad weekend if I have to stop myself from saying, "Oh, yeah? Well, welcome to my WHOLE GODDAMNED LIFE!" more than, say, ten times in a single day. He is not thinking, as I feel he should be, that I do this every day and that he should be supremely grateful that having a stay-at-home mom for a wife means that all he usually has to do in the morning is worry about his own selfish body. He's only feeling put-upon, and perhaps wondering why I run such a lousy household that a man can't relax with his newspaper and his pipe while the children play silently in a spotless nearby room.

By Sunday night, I'm glad that the next day is Monday and we can get back to normal. I can do things my usual way, and I don't have to get in a big knot about what Paul is or isn't doing. I can just do my job, and look forward to him coming home that night from his.

14 comments:

linda said...

I always look forward to weekends too, and right around 9:30 AM on Saturday I remember: oh yeah.

Bunny said...

I could have written that post myself.

jen said...

I am mostly sad that Fridays don't MEAN anything to me any more. At least when I worked, I felt like I EARNED Friday night. But now it's just another night.

I like weekends though, I get lonely during the day. But 3 day weekends I start getting itchy.

Shelly said...

I thought I was the only one who felt like this! Every Friday I think "TGIF" and I don't know why. I guess it's habit l- all the years of working and needing Friday to look forward to. I could have written this very same post as well, so thank you for saying it out loud.

JMH said...

I think my husband and Paul are twins who were separated at birth. My issue is I work outside the home too (teacher) yet I am supposed to take care of both kids AND myself but he only had to worry about himself. UGHHH!!!


"I haven't even taken a shower yet," he'll say, ostensibly to the child asking to be played with, but actually to me, to communicate not only his extreme awesomeness but also his extreme suffering."

Yeah, love the "extreme" suffering part. However the fighting words at our house are "but I'm tired beacause I worked all day" When I hear that, it's time for a frying pan to the head!!

Swistle said...

JMH-- Paul has never tried the "tired because I worked all day" thing, but if he ever does, I'm totally rehearsed to bring a world of hurt down around his ears. It starts out, "Oh, YES, I can TOTALLY see how sitting on your ASS all morning and then having a QUIET LUNCH and then MORE ASS-SITTING would be SO VERY VERY TIRING..."--and it goes on for about 3 more years.

jen said...

my favorite is when he goes away for 3-5 days for his own fun, to a sci fi convention or whatnot, then comes home at 4am, goes to work anyway, comes home and faces me.. who is going absolutely nucking futs from being in charge for 4 days, and says he can't put the kids to bed because he's too tired. *steam*

JMH said...

AMEN sister! Don't you feel sorry for the poor, hard working man who *only* gets an hour for lunch-BY HIMSELF-everyday? I wish my life were that difficult :) Send me a copy of your "world of hurt" speech...I am sure I could use it!

desperate housewife said...

I know everyone already said this, but you basically put into funny, cohesive sentences the fragmented thoughts floating around my own head all this weekend. I was like, "Hmm, sleeping in means sleeping till maybe 9, but probably 8, and the only thing different about this day is that my expectations are higher than for weekdays. Which means I will feel more disappointment and annoyance when I end up cleaning, doing dishes, and schlepping around like normal.

Mommy Daisy said...

Yep, I hear you all! Must be nice to sleep in on the weekends. I know my hubby sees that as his chance to rest, but when do I get my chance. Oh, that's right, I take a nap on Sunday afternoons (when I can). But did you really do anything? Nope, I took my nap while the kid was sleeping. So...DO ... NOT...complaing when you don't get a nap too!

Swistle said...

D.H.-- PLUS, on weekends there are a lot of things I don't do "because it's the weekend," so on Monday it's a fresh surprise to find all those chores backing up.

coffee stained said...

I totally feel your pain. Husband has an entire week off coming up where we are not going anywhere. I dread this week... messy house, dishes piling in the sink, him sitting on the couch while I entertain Jo Jo pleaing for backup as he complains that he can't play video games because she is watching the Teletubbies on his TV. Good times. Go back to work... please!

I hope you have a good week!

Michele said...

I work full time outside the home so I do still look forward to weekends. But around 3pm on Sunday, after spending most of Saturday cleaning, then the rest of the time refereeing toddler squabbles and cleaning up after same toddlers, I realize that weekends are also alot of work and stress.

I dont know how you all do it full time. I love having the kids with me all weekend, but I come back to work on Monday to regroup and sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I have to say that the tasks in mothering for me are easier as a single mom now, because I felt the same way you did...like you expect help or someone to fall into your shoes, but they are so disconnected from the daily routine you go through, they think nothing of taking a shower and actually SHAVING. For me, it started to feel like a competition of how much time we each had...who got a long shower, who didn't, etc. I was always looking forward to Monday merely so I was in charge and didnt have someone there to rub it in my face that they got to pee in privacy. Or eat a meal sitting down. Ooo, I wrote alot, sorry!