It's Day One of school vacation week, and I was going to get you all to feel sorry for me about that--but then my parents came and took all four children out to lunch with them, and here I am alone in the house, and how am I supposed to make you feel sorry for me now? I'm going to go back to working the school vacation week angle. I can always delete this first paragraph, and you'd never even know I had this time By Myself In The House.
School vacation week makes me wonder why I ever had children in the first place. Of course, if I hadn't had children, I'd be at work right now, probably doing twice the work because I'd be covering for all the people who had children out of school, and I'd be wondering why I hadn't had any kids yet and oh my god I'm in my THIRTIES and TIME IS RUNNING OUT.
I took everybody to Target this morning. Smart move, dumbass. I was thinking it would be fun to let Rob and William each choose something they don't usually get to have (fruit snacks shaped like Legos! thrilling and bound to disappoint!) to celebrate school vacation week, and also we were running low on diapers. I did get the diapers, and the gummy Legos, but I also felt like everyone was noticing how poorly I was controlling my roiling cloud of children. A clerk I didn't recognize said, "Hey, you've got an extra kid today!," which made me realize how often I use Target as an escape. They probably all know me there: the woman with twins, who can't seem to keep it together and is always buying tons of clearance crap and candy, and is so distracted she never even looks at the clerks' faces. "Did you see her today?," they probably say to each other in the break room. "Does she not understand about birth control or what?"
We also bought a 10-pound bag of bird seed. I'd mentioned casually to Rob and William that you could put peanut butter on a pinecone and then roll it in birdseed and then hang it on a tree like an ornament, and that the birds would come and eat from it. To me, this was an interesting story about crafts that happen to other people. To them, this was the most amazing idea they ever heard and CAN WE DO IT RIGHT NOW?? So when I saw a sack of wild bird food at the store, I bought it. But now we have a problem, and it is pinecones. I am not even sure this is the right time of year to find them, or if we have pinecone-shedding trees in our area. Now we are going to have to go on a walk to find pinecones. Hey, can this craft be done with something other than pinecones?
Edited to add: I forgot to tell you about my gigantic find at Target! Simply Shabby Chic sheets, 75% off. I bought three sets of twin and one set of king. I would have bought more king, but it was the only set left.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...