I want so badly to color my hair. My natural color is difficult to describe, and in fact that's why I like to impose other colors upon it. My mother, who loves me and has never given me any reason to think I am less beautiful than the superest of supermodels, calls my hair color "wheat," and let's go with that, despite the fact that my hair lacks the golden waves usually associated with grain. It sounds better than "mouse" or "dishwater," and it will give you a lingering impression of health and goodness even as I explain that actually what we're talking about is a flat ashy light-brown color that absorbs light and looks almost dark brown (but without the richness and depth of brown) in photographs. Even "ashy light-brown" is too positive a way to describe this color. If it sounds like a description on a box of hair dye, it is the wrong idea.
What I like to do is add red or blonde. Typically I use the demi-permanent Natural Instincts, even though they wash out disappointingly fast, because I am too scared to commit to a permanent dye, and also because the permanent dyes are worse for lazy people who color irregularly and might not get around to taking care of those roots, and also because I once used a lovely soft blonde and on me it looked like crayons (note to self: they really mean it when they say that the color you choose "works with" your natural color and may yield different results than shown; also, my natural color is a poor co-worker). I once used a rich dark brown, which was super fun until it failed to wash out after hitting the dull-brown stage, and then I read the box and found that it wasn't recommended for my shade of hair. Crap.
Right now what I want, as I gaze into the mirror at my light-and-happiness-absorbing hair, is something bright and metallic and obviously fake. As soon as this baby is born and I'm awake and focused enough to read instructions on a box, I am so there.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...