Here is something I am suddenly wondering about: If your baby is unplanned, is that something you keep a secret?
I was thinking about how, when someone tells me their baby was not planned, I always remember that little nugget of information. Even if I know they love their baby and are so glad the baby is here, I still remember that the baby was "an accident." I wouldn't want someone remembering that about my baby.
Most of my babies were planned. This last one wasn't. I don't know if I'm supposed to be keeping that a secret. I haven't been. For one thing, it's hard to lie about: if you have twins, and you're due with another baby before the twins turn 2, it's not likely you planned it that way. If you've gone around for years saying you wanted four children, and when you had your third and fourth together you went around saying, "Well, I guess this is the last pregnancy, then!," and then you get pregnant again, it's not likely you planned it that way. If you've mentioned to all your dear close friends that you're just waiting for your period so you can start taking the Pill again, and then you get pregnant, it's not likely you planned it that way. And it doesn't really work, anyway, to say to my dear close friends, "YES! Yes, we totally planned this 100%!," and then not be able to talk to them about my mixed feelings, or how it felt to find out, or all of the worries I have about it.
But I'm nervous that knowing he/she wasn't planned will make this baby feel that he/she wasn't wanted. "Unplanned" and "unwanted" are such entirely different things.
Gift ideas for an 8-year-old, part 2 of 2 - Last week I talked about the gifts we were getting/considering for Edward, who is turning 8 next month. This week it’s Elizabeth’s turn: not “girl gifts,” ...